For my last post of 2006 I would just like to say thanks.

Thank you to all of you who make me want to write posts and read posts, who teach me things, give me good advice and make me laugh. In particular:

Sassy my new "real life" friend and her husband Mr. Sass. You guys are super awesome fun. Thanks for the easel, I LOVE it!!!!!!!

Zona Boy who always comes through with the humour. For your generosity and the awesome postcards with your fantastic photography.

Osbasso for always offering to listen when you think I need to talk and for your ongoing help with my blog template.

Jerk for listening to me, giving me pep talks...and making me laugh.

Dan and Sean for your extreme generosity and kind, kind words. You guys are truly inspiring.

Leesa for your generosity and for helping me when I have questions about photography. She's the one to ask for sure.

Marianna for being so real and sweet and the mail art and cards that make my day.

N my twin brother and Ophelia my twin sister. For being like me. Ha ha.

Ratpony Lisa for the GORGEOUS drawing you did of me.

Outburst for making my banner. Damien for creating the picture for my banner.

Orpheus for being you.

My daily addictions Kalipornia, Raymi, Tesco, JaG, Vegas Starlet, Nude Steve to name a few.

I know I am going to forget somebody really important and then tonight I'll be all OH SHIT! If I did then you can yell at me tomorrow okay? But not too loudly.

Happy New Year you awesome creatures you.
And Happy Birthday Ophelia (at midnight)

I've seen a lot of movies with Jennifer Aniston in them lately and each one sucked more than the last, so I have no idea what motivated me to rent 'Friends with Money' today. Maybe I thought she couldn't possibly do it again. Maybe it was the bunch of women smiling on the front cover which made me think "hmmm...friends - smiling - that might be good." Fucking fuckity fuck I really can't believe it but she did it again, this one sucked more than all the rest, except for maybe 'The Good Girl'. That was so bad that I still puke in my mouth a little when I think of it.

Also, I am far from a prude, and this is not just Jennifer Aniston movies that I am referring to, and it's also not just about the women in movies today - but what is with all the bed hopping? I mean pick a partner and stick with it until you crash and burn and then maybe take a week off.

I just got two books.

'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pet Psychic Communication'

and

'Wicca for Beginners'

Because I am going to be a good witch who "talks" to the animals.

Yes I am serious.

I am drinking a Bacardi breezer tropical orange smoothie right now, it tastes like an orange popsicle with ice cream, what are those called again? Creamsicle right? Yeah delish.





My dog has this Kong that I put peanut butter in to keep him occupied and he looks like he is making out with it. And he holds it like he has hands.

The above photo is of my nephew Pinschy the minhuahua at Christmas. That is his new house, which was apparently a little too hot. He looks a little like Triumph no?

I read the book "The Secret" yesterday, and then I watched the movie online for 5 bucks. If you read one book or see one movie in the next little while make it this one. It's amazing. Basically WHATEVER you want in the WHOLE ENTIRE world you can have. It's been scientifically proven by the Law of Attraction. You just have to request, believe and receive. And the universe is so abundant that there is enough for everybody to get everything they want. Life is meant to be happy and abundant so if your's isn't you aren't using the secret. And before you think this is all weird, wishful thinking garbage, just read the book and then tell me if you still see it that way. Also should you really be disregarding what Buddha, MLK jr., and Einstein have to say?

Here are some quotes:

"Life is so easy! Life is so good! All good things come to me!"

"What things ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."
Mark 11:24

"You can start with nothing, and out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made"

"Take the first step in faith. You don't need to see the whole staircase. Just the first step."
Dr. Martin Luther King jr.

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."
Buddha

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

"Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve."

"For your next birthday do yourself a favour and celebrate it as your first birthday. Don't cover your cake with lots of candles unless you want to summon aging upon you."

My first birthday is next Thursday. I am kinda excited about it! And now a list of things I would like from the universe:

The biggest baddest most "I am definitely a photographer" type cameras
New down duvet
King size bed
Tall black leather boots with a medium heel
A spa package
A gorgeous man with thick juicy lips and a good sense of humour
A dishwasher
A front loading washer and dryer
Refrigerator
New computer with a huge flat screen
New couch
A karaoke machine
An easel for painting
Paint
Wii
Medium sized brown leather wallet
Guitar Hero II


Edit - Okay this post is now going to be my official happy abundant post and I am just going to keep adding things I find about being positive and things I want on my list to the universe. How many words are you allowed to have in one post on blogger anyway?

The Power Of Staying Positive - from the Daily OM

Our thoughts are not simply ethereal pieces of information that enter our minds and then disappear. The words and ideas that we think can shape our lives and drive us toward success and happiness or failure and distress. How you think and feel can have a profound effect on your ability to recognize opportunity, how well you perform, and the outcome of the goals that you've set for yourself. When you maintain an optimistic outlook and make an effort to harbor only positive thoughts, you begin to create the circumstances conducive to you achieving what you desire. You feel in control and few of life's challenges seem truly overwhelming because it is in your nature to expect a positive conclusion. An optimistic mind is also an honest one. Staying positive does not mean that you ignore difficulties or disregard limitations. Instead, it means spending time focusing only on the thoughts that are conducive to your well-being and progress.

Positive thinking dramatically increases your chances of success in any endeavor. When you're sure that you are worthy and that achievement is within your grasp, you start to relax and look for solutions rather than dwelling on problems. You are more likely to imagine positive situations or outcomes and disregard the thoughts related to giving up, failure, or roadblocks. What the mind expects, it finds. If you anticipate joy, good health, happiness, and accomplishment, then you will experience each one. Thinking positively may sound like a simple shift in attention - and it is - but it is a mind-set that must be developed. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, try immediately replacing it with a constructive or optimistic one. With persistence, you can condition your mind to judge fleeting, self-defeating thoughts as inconsequential and dismiss them.

It is within your power to become as happy, content, or successful as you make up your mind to be. Staying positive may not have an immediate effect on your situation, but it will likely have a profound and instantaneous effect on your mood and the quality of your experiences. In order for positive thinking to change your life, it must become your predominant mind-set. Once you are committed to embracing positive thinking, you'll start believing that everything that you want is within your grasp.

Merry Christmas

I posted this last Christmas but I had to do it again...

I guess I like it. I think I need a tan to go with it. The flash made me look whiter than I actually am. But not much. A smile and a little less of the axe murderer eyes might help the whole look too.

I'll work on that.




And now I will share a funny conversation between me and my mother.

She likes Rosie O'Donnell for some strange reason and I think Rosie O'Donnell is wah wah arg blah. So my mom is defending her to me saying that she lost her mother when she was ten and "What do you think would have happened if YOU lost your mother at ten years old Robin?" And I said "The nagging would have ended?" She said "Ha ha, that's funny, and it's also the last time your father and I try to pick up the septic tank guy for you." And I said "So I am shit out of luck?"

HA HA. Get it? I knew you would. Merry Christmas my babies.

Charlie got his first EVER Christmas card today from one of my neighbours. Actually it said to Robin and (Charlie). Don't tell him he was bracketed okay??

Also Charlie is grounded for 10 days. That's all through Christmas and the new year. Rolling in dead things, stepping in shit, chewing up tealights, eating pennies and pulling leaves off of my plants is a ten day offence.

Watched Capote tonight. I liked. I particularly liked the guy that did all of the killing. Hot hot. Not the killing part, just the actor.

I dyed my hair. It's sorta like brown with orange sherbet chunks. I am going to go over the orange sherbet parts with some bleach.

I will post pictures tomorrow...

My mom thought the guy that was fixing their septic tank today was cute and around my age, so she sent my dad out to find out if he was single.

Dad: So this job must keep you busy?

Septic tank guy: Yeah actually I only take about three full days a year off, it's a family business.

Dad: Do you have kids?

Septic tank guy: No.

Dad: It must be hard on your wife, you working so much.

Septic tank guy: I'm not married.

Dad: Well it must interfere with your social life.

Septic tank guy: Well, actually most women aren't really in to what I do for a living but my girlfriend now seems to be okay with it.


That's right, there will be no septic tank guy in my stocking this year.

I kid you not. This is 100 percent true.

"Lol, Okay, out there Capricorn would be better to describe me! LOL! Consultant by day Clean safe sane and fun! WM, 5:10, 165lbs, blonde/blue. Fit, active, creative and fun. Love to laugh, life is too short not to. Warm hearted, openminded and also unpretentious. Creative side? Umm, straight guy who has dabbled with crossdress in private for many years. No desire to switch teams, always in private, lol just a fun hobby. Hey, love the wigs! lol Do have a few dressup pics can send via hotmail. Again, just a hobby, some people like sports, woodworking, lol. have many interests...Music, film, dining. being outdoors to list a few! name is Dave,"

Yeah I went back to the dating site. My jeebus.

First off Dave says L O L a lot which makes me want to P U K E.

Secondly Dave likes to dress in women's clothes and he tells me this in the FIRST message he has ever sent me. Can't imagine what a guy like Dave would be saving to tell a girl once they had a coffee together.

Oh and he's 10 minutes after 5. I wonder if that's am or pm.

Okay I was being a sarcastic little twit in my last post. Go here if you would like to see the right way to do this exercise of positive thought and creating a better existence for yourself.

Sadly this young woman who struggled through dialysis and still went through her daily life with a positive attitude, was killed in a car accident last week.

Her blog friends have asked that we all take a lesson from what Anu was about. Seriously you should read it. She's pretty special if you ask me.

"The fastest way to manifest any desire is to think, speak and act as if it has already come true."

Tonight I will be having mind blowing sex in my king size bed with the love of my life. After, he will give me a huge diamond ring and tell me I am the most beautiful woman in the world and that he never really knew how strong love could be before me. I will say that I feel the same way and we will kiss passionately. Then we will get in my cherry red Hummer and go for some delicious Thai food. After that we will come back to my brand new house and do laundry in my front loading washing machine. Then I will load my top of the line whisper quiet dishwasher with the champagne flutes we used earlier. We will then retire to bed for round two. Tomorrow morning we will both go to the spa for side by side massages whilst holding hands. Followed by a lovely country drive. After that we have plans to meet up with all of my favourite friends, you know the kind that are funny, kind and never competitive with you? Yeah them. We will drink and play games and watch the Leafs win on my brand new 99 inch plasma screen television. It will be a wonderful Christmas. No fights, no hangovers, just love and happiness. After spending the best Christmas ever with my family, my fiance and I will get on a private jet and fly to Italy, we will stay there for New Year's and then jet off again to Monacco where we will celebrate my 25th birthday.

Maternal lineage is flawless. That female came out of that female came out of that female.

Paternal lineage is sketchy. That male came out of that female that may or may not have been sneaking around with a different male. And then that baby male (of questionable heritage) has a baby, or at least he thinks he does. Stupid. Cracked system.

This sums up why I think men should take women's names when they get married.

Thanks for your feedback on manboobs. Now I have to see the guy just to see exactly what is going on in that region.

Also, I always have this thought about emailing...which I am sure you have too...when to stop the conversation. Sometimes I will be emailing with somebody and expecting an immediate or pretty immediate response and then nothing...ever. And I think, how rude. But then I wonder how many times I have done the same thing. You get their email and you smile cause they said something funny and then close. But maybe they wanted a response to their funny thing they said. Even though I refuse to say lol I could at least give them a "You are so funny!" but then what do they do just smile when they read that I think they are funny and close, or should they type back thanks??

I really need find more interesting things to stress over.

Oh wait, here's another one...

I was just over at Zona's blog and I mentioned that automated telemarketing calls make me want to kill. I actually say that a lot of things make me want to kill, in writing, on a regular basis. So what happens if I accidently killed someone and then the reporters scanned through my blog and posted how much of a hypothetical killer I have always been? I would so go to jail. Even for an accident. That reminds me of the time I accidentally kicked a window in an old age home and broke it. And there was a cop across the street. He didn't see who did it because there was a whole group of us standing there. He asked who did it. I said I did, but it was an accident. He didn't believe me. So I got to experience the whole handcuffs, back of a cruiser, mug shot, finger printing thing. Good times. This was before OJ taught me that the truth does not set you free, denial does.

One of my bestfriends called last night at around 1:30 a.m. She NEVER does that but she had been at her work Christmas party and had a bunch to drink.

My buddy:"Hi Robin, what are you doooooooooooooing?"

Me: "Nothing you?"

My buddy: "Well Jamie's here and he's hot and you're hot, hold on."

Jamie: "Hello"

Me: "Uh hi I guess this is Jamie?"

Jamie: "Yeah"

Me: "Having a good night?"

Jamie: "Yeah pretty good"

Me: "Oh okay, well can you put Laura back on?"

Jamie: "Yeah"

My buddy: "Robin he is sooooooooooo cute, he has man boobs!"

Me: "Man boobs?"

My buddy: "Yeah, but not the squishy kind the hard kind."

Me: "You mean pecs?"

My buddy: "Yeah PECS!"

Me: "I like skinny guys"

My buddy: "Yeah why do you like squirrelly guys?"

Not sure if she heard squirrelly instead of skinny, or if she actually thinks I like squirrelly type guys.

Anyway, since the Jason thing is over maybe I should go visit my buddy, her husband and their hot friend, even if he isn't much of a conversationalist.

*The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Okay not Jason's name, and not Jamie's name...just Emily's...oops I mean Laura's. Ha ha, her name's not Emily either. I am funny.

"Nudity, sex, drinking dethrones beauty queens"

"Okay walk down that runway in a bathing suit and high heels. Good.

Now turn around and give us the back view. Nice.

Alright you are the best looking, you win.

Wait a second. WHAT? You drank in a bar at TWENTY??? Are you CRAZY?? And you've been nude in pictures with a body like that???? What were you thinking????? And you've been having SEX???? Who do you think you are a MAN???? You aren't allowed to have sex, you are just supposed to BE sex."

Fuck off with your ridiculous "code of conduct" Miss America pageant.

Danasaur had a fun thing on her blog the other day.

Ten Things

List ten things you want to say to people you know but you never will, for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once.

10. You smell like cheese. I think it's parmesan actually.

9. Why?

8. No I didn't. But I can tell you did.

7. Why?

6. Why?

5. Why?

4. Why?

3. Why?

2. Why?

1. Why?

It's 9:48 p.m. here and I am going to a bar by myself. I will report back.

Edit: 1:26 a.m. seven and a half white russians and I can still type, sort of.

That Ozzy dude on Survivor is HOT and I thought it way before he started winning everything, now he's just HOTTER.

So is Bo Duke aka John Schneider. So sexy.

Okay I'm drunk blogging for sure.

Anyway, my dog was pretending to nip me and he actually did nip me and I have a huge bruise on my leg. Maybe I should sue him? Actually I forgive him because he is only ten months old and a dog and because once I did something once that I didn't really mean to do so it's only fair.

First sentence from the first post of each month in 2006.
Stolen from Jerk and Leesa.

January:
It's my birthday today
February:
I received this in the mail today from my brother.
March:
Half Nekkid Thursday
April:
Ba-ba-loo-ee Ba. (Yep that's what it said)
May:
It's a boy! (I got my puppy)
June:
My dog likes to pee in the neighbour's yard.
July:
Happy birthday to my little brother.
August:
To laugh often and much.
September:
A letter to the owner of the bar I used to frequent.
October:
Check this out.
November:
Date number...I think I lost count...7 maybe?
December:
I cannot stop the memes.

I am FASCINATING, no wonder you come by here.

I really love Ratpony's art.



This is a picture she did of me. I am so lucky huh?


She sent a funny email with it too.






Yo

sorry i took so long. and sorry it looks weird and probably not like you at all. and sorry you're all blue.

i hope you get a cheap laugh out of it at least

toodle pip

lisa aka ratpony


I love it Lisa, thank you.

A little meltdown I had myself over at Starlet's blog:

This shitty bar i go to a lot with my friends has a 2-long-island limit for girls. no limit for guys. that's fucked up.
Hedy De Vine | Homepage | 12.12.06 - 2:10 pm | #

OMG I would KEEL everyone in that bar if they LIMITED me to two and let the guys drink what they want. KILL. KILL. KILL. And then I would call the papers and the police and whoever else would listen to me complain about the dead man who wouldn't give me a third Long Island because I have ovaries. KILL.
binsk | Homepage | 12.12.06 - 5:08 pm | #

Edito: Hey you guys Hedy is from Minnesota...so unless she and her friends take cabs over the border or she has a private jet, the bar is in the States. Right Hedy?

I was decorating for the holidays and while I was looking for the three or four Christmasy things I have, I found a whole box of "video cassettes" so I decided to take a look at them, and what I found made me go hmmmmm.

The videos I found were recorded half my life ago, when my boyfriend was 4. You do the math, because I don't want to. Before Kurt even. It's hard to imagine life before Kurt. After Kurt is still taking some getting used to.

Here are a few of my thoughts while I was watching these videos:

Has David Lee Roth ever come out of the closet? Because maybe I missed it. And if I didn't miss it then he must still be hiding in there somewhere because there is no way in hell that dude is straight.

Motley Crue was just as contrived as The Backstreet Boys, I just didn't see it because back then I was the stupid young kid that thought they were in it for the love of the "music".

Vince Neil was pretty sexy.

Madonna was not as attractive as I once thought she was. I remember wishing I had KNEES just like hers. When she bent hers in the Lucky Star video they were very square, like flat on the top, mine are pointy when bent. You know what I mean?

Def Leppard equalled a guitarist that was alive, a drummer with two arms, and a lead singer I wanted to lick to death. Now...not so much on all counts.

That Whitesnake video with Tawny Kitaen is still hot. Tawney Kitaen is still a cool name.



God I am old.

All I can say is at least you are all coming with me.

I got my hair cut, it looks pretty much like Kurt's in that picture, but brown and with big bangs.

Eighties/nineties style. Word. Chater.

And happy birthday Jason baby. And when I say baby, I mean baby, and baby.

These are some thick bangs. But I think I like them.

Blah blah blah...I need some excitement.

Tomorrow I am going to cut my own hair, that should keep me entertained for a while.

I'm going to cut BIG bangs, HUGE bangs, GANGTSA bangs.

Actually I don't think many gangstas have bangs but whatever.

Also I am going to make turkey chili.

And then I might prank call people or go to the mall and give people I don't know dirty looks just to see their reactions.

Or maybe I will smile maniacally at them, yeah that might be better.

Methinks I cannot stop reading this.

It's a diary from 350 years ago that has been turned into a blog.

They drink in the morning at different pubs all the time.

And eat pease porridge, gamble, fight, and worry about the smallpox and getting fired.

"So to bed, where my wife and I had some high words upon my telling her that I would fling the dog which her brother gave her out of window if he [dirtied] the house any more."

Okay so I went to get some beer and on my way I heard Corey Hart singing Never Surrender. Thanks Corey for putting it all in perspective for me.

Anyway, I was over at Corrina's blog (aka Gus Greeper) and she's reading this book about something and one of the things in it is Jeopardy (I am paraphrasing as if you couldn't tell) and it basically sums up as what would your top 7 Jeopardy categories be?


My Top 7 Jeopardy categories:

Spelling
Natural health alternatives
Beer
Song lyrics
Six Feet Under
Genetics
Dream meanings

Just found out the brakes on my car have to be replaced immediately or they could fail. $1000.00.

It just keeps getting better and better I tell you.

Pinch me, I must be dreaming, because I am having such a great time.

Edit: 5:07 p.m. - First quote Canadian Tire $1000.00, second quote Midas $800.00. You can bet there will be more quotes before I borrow the money to fix the brakes, and if God takes me over the side of a bridge before that happens then that's some money saved for my headstone.

My pms is so strong right now that I am either going to kill somebody or melt into a huge puddle of tears and clothes. Ugly clothes that I hate.

Chater

You can say "Later chater". A goodbye insult that rhymes.

You can use it as an adjective "That is so chate".

Or a verb. Because that's how versatile the word chate is.

At first glance you might think to yourself "Oh no Robin what did you dooooooooooo? I thought you were just kidding about vandalizing your neighbour's ugly blow up front lawn toys!"

I didn't slash it. I guess today when I took this picture they were just sleeping, because tonight they are all blowed up again in their ugly glory. Actually I can't figure out which way is uglier.

Click on the picture to make it bigger, if you can stomach it.

I am going insane trying to write a business plan for 2007. I don't have Excel on my computer, oh and I hate Excel.

I need a monthly table that I can input daily activities (by the hour). You know what I mean? Do you have one you can send me? Kinda like a calendar, but electronic, that I can input stuff into? And I know Outlook has one but it won't let me copy it to create my own table. GAH. GAH. GAH. I feel like I am going to cry, but that may just be the PMS. Or the full moon.


Also, my dog keeps chewing through his harness, like in 2 minutes when my head is turned. My mom said "You need to put bitter apple or tea tree oil on it and then he won't want to chew it." Well I couldn't find any bitter apple at the store nor did I want to buy any, but I did have some tea tree oil at home so I poured that all over it and now I have to CHASE him around the house to get his harness on because he hates the smell.


Lastly I would like to make a plea to major retailers to stop selling, to people with questionable taste, those ugly blow up Christmas things that you put on your front lawn. So ugly. Makes me want to fast forward right over Christmas, or go and slash them like tires.

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Copy and paste that stuff above into the address line of my blog and hit enter.

You can do it on your own too.

Stolen from Zona, who stole it from JaG and so on...

I cannot stop the memes.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Weird question.

2. Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Sometimes I guess.

3. Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? Yes.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No. Well unless you count the stop sign that fell down and I took it home...sorta like taking care of a baby bird that has fallen out of the nest I'd say.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? Not particularly.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Yes.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees.

8. Toilet paper off the top or the bottom of the roll? Top.

9. Do you always smile for pictures? Hardly ever.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve? Backstabbers or copycats.

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out. In squishes your legs flat like you've been steamrolled in your bed or something. And what if you get hot and you can't stick your feet out?

12. Favorite School grade? I guess senior. It was all about euchre.

13. Have you ever peed in the woods? Of course.

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? Yes.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes.

16. How many people have you slept with this week? One.

17. Do you like popcorn from those big tins? I don't know what it is.

18. What is your "song of the week"? Song of the week? People have those?

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yep.

20. Do you still watch cartoons? Yes only a few.

21. What's your favorite scary movie? The Exorcist

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? My parent's backyard?

23. What do you drink with dinner? Beer or coke.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Honey mustard

25. What are your favorite foods/cuisine? Right now Thai. Or Indian.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Office Space, Trainspotting.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? J-Fed.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? A Brownie, and I think I quit after I hopped over the lily pads and graduated to Girl Guides. That's how a Brownie graduates.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Yes, I think I would. If it was tasteful.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? The eighties?

31. Can you change the oil in a car? No.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yes. I hate that.

33. Run out of gas? Yeah in a boat that wasn't mine and we were half way home and the coastguard wouldn't come and get us and it was late at night and we had to stay out there til morning and I was the only sober one and I was scared to death listening to the huge shipping vessels thinking they were not to going to see us and crush us.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich(s)? Tuna. Even though I haven't been eating a lot lately due to mercury or something. Fucking environment.

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Eggs.

36. What is your usual bedtime? 12

37. Are you lazy? Not really.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A die. As in two dice, one die. It's VERY hard to keep up with your friends when you are inside a huge cardboard box.

39. Do you remember you first Email Address? No.

40. How many languages can you speak? Two. Well one and un peu de francais.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope.

42.Which are better legos or Lincoln logs? Legos. I don't know theeeeees Lincoln Logs?

43. Are you stubborn? If warranted.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Letterman. Leno irritates me, like makes me want to punch him in the head really hard, repeatedly.

45. Ever watch soap operas? I have.

46. Afraid of heights? Not really.

47. Sing in the car? ALWAYS.

48. Dance in the shower? Sounds dangerous, no.

49. Dance in the car? No, ON the car though, Whitesnake style.

50. Ever used a gun? I'm Canadian.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 10 years ago.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? A lot of the time.

53. Is Christmas stressful? I'm not allowing it to be anymore.

54. Ever eat a pierogie? Yes. Yum.

55. Favorite fruit pie? Cherry.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? An orthodontist and an actress.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily? Many vitamins daily. Like freakish amounts.

60. Wear slippers? No.

61. Crunchy or Smooth peanut butter? Smooth.

62. What do you wear to bed? Tank top or t-shirt

63. First concert? Michael Jackson.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart? Walmart.

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike.

66. Cheetos or Fritos? Both.

Stolen from Greek Chickie, she seems to enjoy the memes as much as I do lately.

Thu Nov 30, 4:56 PM

SAN DIEGO (AP) - A killer whale that dragged a trainer underwater during a show at SeaWorld Adventure Park may be allowed to perform again despite past incidents stretching back to 1993, park officials said Thursday.

The whale, Kasatka, tried to bite the trainer during a show in 1999, and tried to bite another trainer in 1993. "Animals who have been involved in incidents like this in the past have been allowed to continue performing," SeaWorld San Diego spokesman Dave Koontz said.

Park trainers were examining the female orca and trying to determine what made her grab trainer Ken Peters and twice hold him underwater during a show, Koontz said.

If I were a killer whale and you were confining me and making me perform tricks I'd bite you too.

What is wrong with people?

You know when you are surfing around blogs and then you get a call or something so you leave the computer and maybe then you go out for a few hours and then you watch a movie and then you come back to the computer and it's still sitting on that same blog, do you think that person if they checked their site meter would actually think that you were reading their blog for 6 hours? Cause I think if someone was reading my blog for 6 hours that would be kinda, I don't know, odd or something.

Do you think this is a joke, or the coolest email EVER?


"Hi!
Let´s just say that you were touched, at least with the gift of photography!
You´re not gonna believe how I found your blog...
I dreamt last night with the name Binsk. I put it in Google and voilá!! Yours was the first thing that came up! Don´t get me wrong and please don´t be afraid...I live in Portugal...I just thought it was peculiar, to say the least... Anyway, that´s all..."

Okay, enough with the memes.



I've decided to compose a list of original insults and compliments.



Feel free to use them should the need arise.






Insults:

Hey aren't you the guy from the cigarette packs? (Canadian)
If I told you that something was your wife would you beat it? (A thinker)
You should eat more fried foods.
If I were a cat and I had to spend time with you, I would eat poison ten times.
If you were just a tad brighter you would be midnight.
Are you the lead singer of Nickelback?
How long have you been in the coma?
You suck more than my 'original insults list'



Compliments:

You smell like Stella. (For the discriminating alcoholics)


Okay, I could only come up with one compliment, but it's good no?


Also, I am going to start teaching my dog other languages.
Multi-lingual dogs are probably very popular and get all of the high paying gigs.

Donde Esta Ese Hueso?

Will somebody PLEASE help me put my header on top of my blog?

Every time I try to do it, it takes off half of the picture.

Went to Jason's for dinner.

He cooked. And got us some nice red wine. And we watched The Leafs lose.

But it was still really nice.
______________________


Watched Elizabethtown.

Orlando has officially knocked Johnny Depp out of the top spot of guys that I will never meet but am totally in love with.



Orlando,
I bet you don't realize how hard it really was for you to knock Johnny out of the top spot. I didn't think it was possible. Sigh.



And now a meme:

It's something like I say, you think. One word only.


Yourself: Broke
Your partner: Young
Your hair: Long
Your Mother: Smart
Your Father: Strong
Your Favorite Item: Money
Your dream last night: Nothing
Your Favorite Drink: Beer
Your Dream Car: Hummer
Your Dream Home: Pool
The Room You Are In: Den
Your Ex: Angry
Your fear: Loss
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? Happy
Who you hung out with last night: Parents
What You're Not: Mean
Muffins: No
One of Your Wish List Items: Dishwasher
Time: Floyd
The Last Thing You Did: Smoke
What You Are Wearing: Clothes
Your favorite weather: Tepid
Your Favorite Book: Non-fiction
Last thing you ate: Canneloni
Your Life: Unexpected
Your mood: Happy
Your Best Friends: Funny
What are you thinking about right now: This
Your car: Explorer
What are you doing at the moment: Drinking
Your summer: BB7
Relationship status: Boyfriend
What is on your tv: Nothing
What is the weather like: Cool
When is the last time you laughed: Today

Stolen from the Chickie of Greece.

I think I have a U.T.I. or a bladder infection or something. I've never had one before but that is what it is feeling like, (after I googled the symptoms). So I got some cranberry juice and probiotic yogurt because I am ALL about the natural remedies (also googled).

I'll let you know if it works.

And this morning, rather than buying some sort of scrub to exfoliate my skin, I just used Celtic sea salt (which I use instead of regular salt) and honey.

My skin is SO soft. You should try it.

Click on the boob shirt to see how you too can own a boob shirt.

Yes, I have become a Cafe Press Whore.

In other news I just got back from the beer store.

I got id'd again.

I love that.

1.The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Johnny Depp, Santa, a long lost rich relative.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Depends. Usually listener.

4. Do you take compliments well?
Not at all, but working on it.

5. Are you an active person?
Well, I wasn't for eight or nine months, but I've been making up for it lately.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?
Probably. Yeah, maybe not. Would I have a cell phone?

7. Do you like to ride horses?
I guess. Is this a euphemism for sex? If it is then yes I REALLY do. (See answer number 5.)

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yep. I was dubbed "Tracy No-Show" because it was tennis camp and I had a Tracy Austin tennis racket and never showed up for lessons.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Soccer.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married would you?
I would not.

11. Are you judgemental?
Not really.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Yeah.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I guess pursued.

14. Use three words to describe yourself:
Caring, loyal, creative.

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
Neither.

16. Are you continuing your education?
Not at the moment.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Nope.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you tried to save?
My dog.

19. How often do you read books?
Rarely. Maybe one every few months.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Present.

21. What is your favorite children's book?
"Are you my mother?" by Dr. Seuss. That poor baby bird was looking for love in all the wrong places. A tractor? I mean really.

22. Have you kissed any of your Blog friends?
Probably.

23. How tall are you?
5'6" and three quarters.

24. Where is your ideal house located?
Muskoka.

25. Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies?
Guys: boxer briefs Me: boy short thingies.

26. Last person you talked to?
Jason.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
10 years ago, I didn't even know they still existed.

29. What are your keys on your key chain for?
Locks (thanks Steve)

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
The mall.

31. Where is your current pain at?
No pain right now.

32. Do you like mustard?
Yep, all kinds and lots of it.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Both.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both. I'm definitely a combo platter.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
5 minutes.

36. Can you do a split?
The splits? No.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
The Matrix.

38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
Why in hell's name would you put lotion on your pets? Wouldn't that make their fur all greasy or sticky or something?

39. What did you do for New Year's?
Went to my friend Lysa's, I was TOTALLY hungover. On New Year's EVE.

40. Do you think "The Grudge" was scary?
I'm not sure what you are saying?

41. What was the cause of your last accident?
I don't know.

42. How much money do you have on you right now?
Probably like a dollar.

43. What are you drinking?
red wine

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Yes she was. And a model.

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
A.

46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I didn't.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
8 or 9 is what I prefer.

48. Do you like Carebears?
I've never really thought about it.

49. What do you buy at the movies?
Popcorn, no butter.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, and I love it but I SUCK at it. I have the WORST poker face in the world. I might as well just tell you what my hand is.

51. Do you wear your seat belt?
Of course.

52. What do you wear to sleep?
A tank top usually.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Nope.

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
Two or three.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
Nope. But I'd love to kiss someone with a tongue piercing just once. Maybe twice, who knows.

56. Do you trust the news reported by the local paper?
It's pretty lame. Like this high school won the football championships, so yeah.

57. What's you favorite NFL team?
ICK. Hate football. Okay the Bills. Not to watch, just because Buffalo is the closest team.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny.

59. Ever been to Vegas?
Nope.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
No.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
No, but I am fluent in english cuss words. Cuss words. Heh heh.

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I can't tell you.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
No.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Nothing really these days.

65. Is anyone mad at or irritated with you right now?
I don't think so, but then I don't really care much either. Is that bad?

66. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
Both. It's more fun that way.

67. What's your favorite preparation for eggs?
Scrambled. Or Benedict.

68. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Photographer.

69. Are you easy to get along with?
Yes, unless you are a moron.

70. What is your favorite time of day?
When I am having sex.

71. Who was your best girlfriend/boyfriend?
No comment.

72. Who do you hate?
People who are mean spirited.

73. Would you ever date your first love again?
I think he has a restraining order against me.

74. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes.

75. Current mood?
No mood to speak of really. Still maybe?

Stolen from Leesa and Nude Memphis Steve.

Watched Titanic for the first time last night. Yes, I am serious. I won't tell you about it, because I am sure you already know.
_________________________

I've decided to use more makeup. I always look so washed out in pictures and I figured out why, because I need more makeup. Last night I was wearing lots of eyeliner and mascara just to stay in and watch movies with Jason. When we met up he said "I thought we were staying in to watch movies? You look like you are ready to go out." I said "Yeah I'm weird."

_________________________

I have to quit drinking Coke. I gave up Diet Coke about a year ago and substituted Coke. You need about 1 can of Coke to replace 50 cans of Diet Coke.

_________________________

Did anyone else have trouble sleeping last night? I had one of those nights where you are pretty much awake, with moments of drowsiness ALL NIGHT. So this morning after Jason left for work I went back to bed and slept until 3:30 p.m. So tonight should be pretty much the same thing. Unless I drink a bottle of wine or something.

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Hmmmmmmmm...just so happens I have a picture of me with orange hair.

I'm a B-lister according to the Blogebrity.

I still haven't figured out who I have to sleep with to get on the A List.

Osbasso of HNT fame helped me get my archives back...thanks buddy.

One of the guys from the restaurant I worked at called and left a message today saying that he was sad that I wasn't working there anymore, and that he has always had a thing for me, and if I want to hang out to give him a call. The last time I spoke to him he said he was engaged and going to move to the States to get married. Also I have a guy. Also I am not attracted to him. But it's nice to get calls like that I guess. I don't want to be mean, but I don't really want to call him back. How do you respond to that? "I got your message about how you have always had a thing for me, thanks, um, that's nice. And I don't have a thing back for you and I don't really want to hang out with you either, but thanks for calling and stuff."

Kind words and generosity delivered to you by somebody you don't even know is probably one of the nicest experiences you can have.

I'm going to pay it forward.

I promise.

Oh and does anybody know how to get your archives back? I accidently erased the HTML in my template.

Hives

To dream that you break out in hives, indicates that you are worried about some situation or decision. It also signifies nervousness and even fear.

Talked to the owner at work. He said he was "taking me off the schedule". That's nicer than firing me huh? He said it was because of the "incident" where I refused to serve a table because the guy at it was somebody that worked in my other "day" job. I basically hid in the back. Ha ha. Anyway my dad who I also work with at my day job said that I did the right thing and we don't need people in our work knowing that I am waiting tables because I am so broke. (Not that there's anything wrong with waitressing or waitresses, there are a few of them there that I will continue to hang out with. Not to mention the sexy Jason.)

And blah, blah "I will put down that you resigned on your papers if you prefer, whatever you'd like" and "Please feel free to come in here any time."

Yeah when I get a hankering for apple crisp microwaved in plastic wrap, or five pounds of meat, eggs and cheese in a skillet I'll for sure drop in.

So I was at work tonight right?

And I looked at the new schedule and my hours are cut down from FIVE shifts to TWO.

And the owner that doesn't write the schedule tells me at the end of the night that the OTHER owner who does write the schedule wants to meet up with me tomorrow at 1 p.m. (on my day off)

I say "Why?"

He says "Oh I don't know."

Bullshit he doesn't know.

I say I have a really busy day but I will try and if I can't make it I will call.

"Oh okay that'll be good." he says.

What the fucking fuck?

If you are out to eat with some friends and you order a round of WATER for everybody, you are not a hero, you are annoying...especially when NOBODY drinks it.

When you see that there is NO ONE left in the restaurant you are at, and the open signs are off, don't ask the waitress if she is waiting for you to leave because she will LIE to you. We are not allowed to say "Yes you annoying prick, as soon as you leave I can."

If you say you are ready to order, then ORDER. Don't sit there for five minutes re-reading the menu.

Some of your kids are REALLY cute. Some of them aren't. At all.
_____________________

Huh? What? Toliet paper?

I had NO idea that Charmin Ultra soft was SO soft until it was on sale.

I usually buy the cheap no name stuff.

I don't think I can go back after my Charmin experience.

It's like heaven.

_____________________

The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston and that dude from Brokeback Mountain is probably one of the worst movies I have seen in my ENTIRE life. Blech.

The Break Up is pretty sucky too.

Except Vince Vaughan is in it.

Even though he is getting old, he is still very sexilishissssss.

______________________

Oh yeah and date number eight was perfect.

Fajitas, The Leafs, and awesome late night lovey dovey fun.

Life is good.

I just gotta get the angry waitress stuff out for the sistahood.

Nothing to say.

But that's never stopped a blogger before now has it?

Ummm...

Going to work in an hour or so.

My dude quit the restaurant so that makes work a little less hot.

Going to a bar afterwards and I might get to see Sassy and Mr. Sass again.

Have a nice Saturday night.

Peace out.

Date number...I think I lost count...7 maybe?

We went to Screemers at the Toronto Ex.

Yeah...I thought I might have a heart attack or something before I went, but I survived.

Jason ended up with a little mascara on his white shirt because I was constantly hiding my face in it.

The Black Hole was ridiculous...you can't SEE. For like TEN minutes.

And the spinny thing that made you think you were going sideways was CRAZY.

Hope you all had a fun Halloween too. Especially Brico, it's his birfday.

Blurry lips, but oh the lips...

He wants to be my boyfriend.

He said that his friends said I was probably just using him.

He wants me to meet his parents, and he wants to meet mine.

Yep, that's what he said.

Mine will probably not be too shocked.

His mother is not happy about my age.

But his grandmother said "Oh that's okay!" when he told her how much older I am.

When we go out people think we are the same age. All of them.

How do we know? Because we ask. Some of them think I am the younger one.

Charlie obviously likes him, and we have fun when we're together.

I'm going to take it one day at a time.

Wish me luck, or call me crazy.

Pictures tomorrow. Oh wait not tomorrow, pictures Sunday, of the hot one.

The story has not ended. Things were worked out. Why so cryptic? Can't say.

But I have a funny story from work tonight...

We have to sing for people when it's somebody's birthday. Which sucks for us especially if we don't have a lot of waitresses and waiters to sing.

So tonight I had a party of twelve, with two birthdays, and everybody was supposed to sing but this one girl I was working with refused. So me being my bitchy little self said to her afterwards (with another guy we work with standing there) "Who sings when there are birthdays at your tables? Because I won't be since you won't for me."

She just looked at me funny.

THEN a little while later she comes up to me and says "Robin I am a Jehovah's Witness and we don't celebrate birthdays". Yep. I am an idiot.

She did go on to teach me all about the reason why they don't celebrate birthdays (the only two birthdays celebrated in the Bible were of people that were MURDERED) and how 144,000 of them go to heaven (which she said is kinda like the Canadian government ruling over Canadians???) and that she is not going to Heaven (apparently you JUST KNOW) but she is going to live on Earth which is going to turn into a paradise.

Now I am having a beer, trying to forget that conversation, and counting down the minutes to my photoshoot hot dude date.

I'll finish the story from the last post when there is a finish to be found.


In the meantime here is a quote that I am very guilty of. I need to buy some cool.

"You Canadians have Canadian self-esteem issues. Your problem is why can't Canada be as cool as America. Time to get over it. Your air's cleaner, your women are prettier, get over it. You can hear a Canadian in any movie theatre - the movie comes on and you hear 'Hey, did you know they're Canadian?' And it's like oh please, it's so embarrassing. Canada must just be hiding its face. Buy some cool. Buy some of it." Gene Simmons

Oh you won't win.

You will not win.

You will be on your knees begging for forgiveness.

Watched The Motorcycle Diaries tonight, yeah I know I am always on the cutting edge. I still haven't seen The Matrix. Anyway, I LOVED it just like most everyone else. And my gawd he was hot. And so is the actor that played him. Yum.

Tomorrow is date number three. Yum. I am definitely going to get the camera out so I can share the hotness that has entered my world.

Everything is coming up hot apparently.


*Above picture is my brother and my "lap dog".

Dear Pizza Pizza,

It's VERY difficult for sober people to eat your food.

Good luck with the "late night ordering drunk people who don't care about what they are shoving in their mouth as long as it sucks up the alcohol" thing.

Fuck your food SUCKS.

From now on, to me Friday the thirteenth will mean the opposite of what it means to most people.

What a ridiculously awesome time I had yesterday.

It must have been all your good lucks and have funs that did it.

And Mr. Dude has agreed to let me take some photos of him...I didn't get around to it last night, but I will, and he is quite the little photogenic looking type.

Hello all...long time no talk.

How are you? I miss you. No really, I do.

Things that are new with me:

I have two pieces of my art in a gallery in town FOR SALE. Can you imagine? If they sell then I will be a PROFESSIONAL photographer, right? I went to see them today and it was SO cool, it's a REAL gallery, and my name, and the name of the photos (the CORRECT names), and the price were printed on this nice little tag...I might go back and take a picture of my pictures hanging in a gallery. Is that wrong?

I got paid tonight from my second job. $388.00. That's the biggest paycheck I've seen in MONTHS. Sad huh? Yeah well I get tips too so at least I can keep my dog Charlie eating the mackarel he is used to.

I am going on a "date" tomorrow night, but we aren't really calling it a date because he is 22 and I am not. But I figured he keeps asking, and he's cute so I might as well go out with him just as a friend. Or something. I'm actually looking forward to it. Is that wrong?

I will try to post more. And leave them up, okay Os?

Check this out http://gabbly.com/robinalexa.blogspot.com

Raymi always finds the fun stuff.

You can chat with me...on my blog.

You can put one on your blog too, just put gabbly.com/ in front of your blog name.

Actually, I haven't decided whether I like it or not because I am not a big messenger fan.

So the magazine with my photographs came out yesterday.

Yeah, you would think that's great and shit.

Well except that I forgot the golden rule:

If you don't do it yourself then it is going to be fucked up beyond recognition.

Or as my mother so sensitively put it when I told her I was upset, "If it isn't exactly how Robin wants it then it is a big problem." Yeah, I LOVE when my mother speaks to me, about me, in the third person. It warms the cockles of my heart, and the sub-cockles as my boyfriend Denis Leary would say.

Anyway, I send these motards (a.k.a. the editors/publishers) my pictures, with descriptions of each one. Easy right? Well yeah you would think. However, rather than publishing my descriptions they used the NAME OF THE JPEGS. Yeah. You know how you name your pictures silly things just so you can remember them? Like the picture of the frog they published said FROGGY beside it like my five year old (if I had a five year old) named it. And I'm sure the COOL 3 title of the fence said to the readers 'She's simple and special, in the hockey helmet, short school bus sorta way - but she seems to have an eye for photography. She's like an idiot savant. Nice!'

Oh and then I guess they thought they would take a little creative licence and name one of my close up pictures ABSTRACT. Yeah close up, abstract, whatever.

22,000 issues distributed in the new town I live in.

I'm moving.

Two FIRSTS and a third in the fall fair photography competition in the town next to mine.

I'm on a roll.

Oh yeah that's how punny I am.

Do you know what happens when you drop a bottle of grenadine on a tile floor?

Let me tell you.

It looks like a murder scene.

A murder scene in the wait station at your new job.

Aces.

Some little fucking shit just 5 seconds ago picked up a rock and threw it at my dog while he was wagging his tail and being all friendly on his leash in the backyard.

She didn't see me, I guess she was too stupid to look in the back door where I was sitting. I said "EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Nothing. I said "Do you want me to tell your mother you are throwing rocks at my dog?????" and another little SHIT said "Do you even know her mother?" I said "I'll find her." and the little hooligans walked away. I'm gonna find her and ask if she knows she is raising a little bitch. She couldn't have been more than 12.

What the hell is wrong with this world that a young girl would throw a rock at a puppy wagging his tail?

Okay I'm off to work now. Hopefully nobody throws anything at me while I'm there.

Just got home from shift number two at my new waitressing gig. I waited my own tables with my own number and these little waitress chicks took more than half of my tips, cause you know it's only fair. Fair my ass.

I put a bug in the owner's ear that I wanted to start on the bar asap. Eff this waiting tables crap. The real money is one beer, one dollar. 10 seconds for a dollar is a good return on my time.

I auditioned for the choir the other night. There were six of us. At the end the dude says "Okay thank you all we have your numbers, we will call you." My cousins said that when they auditioned the guy said "Okay see you all Monday." So you would think....hmmmm...obviously somebody didn't make it and he didn't want to make them feel bad in front of everybody else. So of course I think it's me. And I tell my parents I don't think I made it. They are like, oh well that's okay. Then I get the call that I DID make it in. So I tell my mom and she says I am too negative for thinking I didn't make it. GAH.

Now I just have to come up with $3000.00 by Halloween so I can go to Ireland with the choir.

That's 3000 beers by Halloween. Not gonna happen. Oh wait is that negative?

I won two second place pretty blue ribbons in the photography competition at the fall fair yesterday.

And I got a second job, because as you may or may not recall I had to quit my last second job because of a jerk.

Job interviews for jobs that aren't your career are so funny because you are much more relaxed and honest. At least I am.


"Robin why do you want this job?"
"Because I need money."



"Oh you worked at La Blah Blah a few months ago, why aren't you there anymore?"
"Because I didn't get along with someone there."
"Oh, a personality clash?"
"Yes."
"Yeah that happens."



"What's your availability?"
"Well I can work any time because my other job is straight commission so I make my own hours. Except I don't want to work in the mornings because it's the same amount of work but less money. Also I would like to work on the bar for as many shifts as you have."
"Okay, can you start Tuesday?"

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.  You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.  Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

Pretty much.

Lameness part two...

Today I am wearing mom jeans...you know the kind that come up past your navel?
I bought them at Costco, they were cheap, and since you don't try things on at Costco you just get it home and go oh great, mom jeans. So they sat in my closet (I'm lying, they sat on the little couch in my room where half of my clothes are) and today I had nothing to wear so I put them on.

Then I decided I needed to go out, so I threw on my jean jacket and went out the door. Now I am in a store in a full denim outfit.

Hotness personified.

The Wit

CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Ricky Gervais

Lame things I did yesterday:

1. Went to choir. And it was SO much fun.

2. Got kicked out of the Big Brother chatroom for not listening to the moderators. Apparently you can type out penis without getting blocked but you can't type out vagina because it's a bad word.

Why would I be typing out penis and vagina in a Big Brother chatroom? I have no idea. Maybe it had something to do with bros before hos, and chicks before dicks.

I think that is enough lameness to be sharing for one sitting.

I want to steal everyone's lawnmowers because obviously people cannot be trusted to use them during non-annoying periods. Who fucking cuts their lawn at 6:30 a.m. on a holiday Monday?

Why do all of the morons in the world live within 5 minutes of me?

I liked your profile and the simplicity of your style...little said much asked for....and yet this lovely, lovely woman, brings so much...

Perhaps it is up to me to tell you of me...and perhaps to tell you of what you are looking....

well I am a dominant master with much experinece in the life....I imagine hearing that as an opening is rather...unusual, but is the baseline...not all that I am...but some....I am a gentleman, who is interesting, introspective, warm. loves theatre, art, music, fine dining, wines, a good cigar, film, sports, politics, history, science...and am looking for the yang to my yin, for someone bright warm, and a lady, who would comfortable on my arm at the theatre, art gallery and as my submissive...who craves to find someone to hand herself to...but who is not one to do it blindly or quickly...a woman who understands the art of sensuality and looks for an artist to share it....I am looking for a woman with the soul of a poet and the heart of a lion...and someone who can laugh...

This is alot to require...but it is what I wish for....so...the question is...."is it you?"

V

Two words. FUCK NO.

A letter to the owner of a bar I used to frequent. I used to drink gallons of white russians there.

Yo Doug,

It's me Robin!

You remember, your regular that moved away??
How are you? How are things?
I just got your Labour Day Weekend email (powered by What's Up)

Anyway, just wanted to say hi...I'll try and stop by some time...

Robin

P.S. I bet you aren't going through as much milk since I moved away.



Hello Robin,

Nice to hear from you, where in God’s green acre did you get to and was the move so far away that we will only get to see you at home comings and Christmas? I’m great and business is booming, the area just keeps getting better and better. I am in the middle of trying to open another restaurant in the area, I am going to open an upscale Italian restaurant that I’ve named CUCCI you know the type white table cloth, dark woods with candle light and a baby grand piano. It's great to hear that the email letters are working and thanks for dropping me a line, as for the milk consumption, I received a “hope all is still well” card from the Ontario dairy board.

Again it was great to hear from you Robin,

Doug

Today when I was at the grocery store, in the self check out part, because it is way more fun, I saw this couple with a watermelon and they were saying to the kid that monitors like eight of the self scanners:

"Can you take this off our bill, we don't want it, it's ELEVEN dollars"

NOT

"There must be something wrong here this watermelon scanned as eleven dollars"

They actually thought a watermelon the size of a canteloupe was ELEVEN dollars.

I don't know maybe it's just me.

Well, well, two days on the dating website and I run into someone I know.

Hey!!!

How are you? I haven't seen you in ages. I see you are still so beautiful!

How is your search going? I haven't had any luck. A few people chatting on MSN, other than that it has been pretty crappy.

I can't believe you are still single... Or are you?

We should go out for a drink sometime... What do you think?


Ha ha, he says "Or are you?"

Other than that, how very sweet.

I don't know if I am going to meet Mr. Right on this thing, but some of the guys are just too ridiculous not to share with you. Let me know if any of these lines are working for you and I will hook you up.

"I have my deploma in journalism. I describe everything as we talk to long to type inthis box"
Ewe hav a deploma in journalism? Me to.


"eye-luv-2-kiss-do-u.?"
Pfffffft.


"new on this site just checkin out..attracted to witty intteligent women with a zest for life..energetic hard working with a greek backround guy..lol"

LOL huh? I fail to see the humour except for the fact that you spelled intelligent wrong.

"The dancing green guy is Mr Hanke!!"

No idea what this means. Anyone?

I have a few tips for you guys out there looking for a girl online.

Put a shirt on.
Don't refer to yourself as "Hollywood" or "Stallion"
Post a picture of yourself where you don't look like a serial killer (if one has ever been taken).
Put a shirt on.

You can click this.

Yes, I figured out how to make a button for my photoblog.
Figured out = Copied Leesa's button and changed the link and the picture.

Now I just have to "figure out" how to move my blog main page and sidebar over two inches because they look like they are being sucked off of my screen.

My newest nickname for my dog is Doogie Rough Howser. He's like a linebacker the way he charges at me sometimes. Linebackers charge right?

Other than that, I signed up for a dating site, it was free and my friend forced me to (kinda), but it seems very scary to me. I don't like the whole strange men wanting to meet thing. Maybe we can just always be email pals. Speaking of strange men, I'm gonna call you soon Jeff.

Why can't I cut and paste into blogger anymore??????

My washing machine's spin cycle is broken now so I guess I am going to have to wear dirty clothes or hold the sopping wet ones in my hands and spin around really fast. FAHK.

If you take a picture of someone unknowingly, can you use it as art? Can you sell it? The paparazzi do it so I guess I answered my own question. Or maybe not. Do you own your own image? Anybody?

This is a post from last night...and I took out the barfing part because obviously it wasn't clear.

I am tired because some nimwit thought that Monday morning at 5:45 a.m. was a GREAT time to start up HIS really loud machine. I know it was a him, I just know it. If I had a gun in my house, you know for protection from burglars and stuff, there is no telling what I would have done.

5:45

A.M.

Poor Pluto.

OMG. I thought my blog birthday was August 24th but I just checked and it was really August 18th. So I am now two years and 4 days old.

So in honour of my belated 2nd blogaversary here are a few of my favourites (you have to scroll up a bit on each one because it goes right to the comments - I wouldn't say I have learned much technically in the past two years):

My attempt at writing poetry like Rosie O'Donnell

I was getting half naked before I knew about HNT

My D.N.A. revealed (top secret)

Stupid things I say

Half Naked (nekkid)

Half Naked (nekkid)

Sweet letter

Half Naked (nekkid)

Me from A-Zed

The Paparazzi

My rules for 2006

Half Naked (nekkid)

A quiz about me

The gay debate


I love blogging more than anything. Well, more than most things.

Two years ago I would have never suspected that I would meet so many cool people, learn so much, and have a fucking awesome time doing it.

Peace bloggy peeps. Peace.