You want to know what sucks?

God's little cruel joke on me is that EVERY time I have something to do that's stressful or fun (or anything where there are a bunch of people involved) , I am in the major stages of P.M.S.

And my P.M.S. is the hideous, cry-at-the-drop-of-the-hat, think-everybody's-out-to-get-me, kind of P.M.S.

Birthdays, moving, get-togethers...doesn't matter...they always seem to occur two or three days before I get my period.

Damn lunar cycle or something.

So Charlie/Chachi/Buddy/Trouble has been scratching and scratching, so we went back to the vet (actually a new vet, the one my parents have been going to for years...well not my parents but their 3 dogs and 5 cats). Anyhow, the vet (Dr. H.) says we should do a skin scraping to see what he has, it may be scabies. SCABIES??? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. So Dr. H. says we should sedate Charlie so we can get a really deep scraping, and there will be blood. Oh my. So first he gets the needle. Then the vet says he'll be back in 10. Then Charlie flops over like he's dead and his eyes roll back in his head. I start to freak thinking he's had too much and he's just been put to sleep forever in front of my eyes...but when the vet comes back and starts to shave the scraping area, Charlie moves. YAYYYYYYY!!! So the vet takes the scraping to his microscope (are you still reading this??) and he comes back a few minutes later to ask us if we want to see it under the microscope. Okay. I think. So I carry "dead" dog into the back and Dr. H. shows us the grossest little moving amoeba-like sickness. It's not scabies...it's demodenia or something like that. Apparently we have it in our eyelashes and stuff but in dogs with a lowered immune system it can get way out of control. And 25 years ago it was FATAL. So he gives Charlie another shot (poor baby) and I take him home where he continues to play dead until the morning.

The next day he was perfectly fine and I went to get him some more food at the pet store. The woman asks what kind of puppy I have (because I am buying puppy food) I tell her he's a Potcake. She says "Oh, they eat dog food?" I say "Yes, why would you ask that?" She says "Well I just didn't know they ate dog food". I smile and don't ask her again why she is confused that a dog is eating DOG food. When I get to my car it hits me...she must have thought I said POTBELLY, as in pig.

Went to line dancing lessons with my cousin last night. Way too much fun even though I was spazzy. I am addicted. My cousin Kelly and I were sorta estranged by circumstance, not choice, for many years and just ended up reuniting last Christmas. I ran into her last week again (after another year) and she asked me if I wanted to go line dancing. So as I just said, I did. She didn't tell me there was live feed to the internet until we started...oh yeah. And it only cost $5.00 which is nice because I just managed to scrape together my last $5.00 in change to pay for it. I heart being completely and utterly broke so much. Grrrrrrr...

___________________

I was coming off the highway today...and I saw three cars pulled over to the shoulder like an accident. I saw a guy in the back car, a guy in the front car, and a maybe 25 or 30 year old woman standing in front of the middle car, wearing what looked like a skin tight body suit...oh wait, that's not a nude coloured body suit, SHE'S COMPLETELY NAKED. (I think she might be an aerobics instructor or a runner, you know?) Anyway, the cops weren't there yet but arrived seconds after. They poked her a couple of times...she didn't really move, she just stood there against the car all naked at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. So they each took an arm and led her to the police car...she fell down...they pulled her by the arms trying carefully not to touch anything else and put her in the back. Then the light changed and I drove away...wondering.

You know how you see tons and tons of birds every day? How come you don't see tons and tons of dead birds all the time? I mean where do birds go to die? You see the occasional bird that hit the windshield or got the west nile, but where are all of the other ones?? Yes I'm serious.

I'm doing the all night relay for life on June 2nd...with my buddy Lysa and a bunch of other girls. If you would like to sponsor our team let me know and I'll tell you how. Lysa did the relay last year and said it was a great time. I like great times. Almost as much as I like excellent times.

I feel sleepy today. It's the end of a long weekend sleepy I guess.

Since I got my puppy, and started working at the restaurant, I have lost 15 pounds from all of the exercise (the stairs at the restaurant are crazy...the kitchen is downstairs and the dining room is upstairs, not to mention the patio...and I walk Charlie AT LEAST twice a day)

__________________________________

The series finale of Will and Grace was on tonight...I wasn't working either job so I watched it. And I didn't cry. Nope, that would be totally silly, especially since I'm not even pmsing.

My ex-boyfriend once told me that I reminded him of Karen. Honey, I don't know what he was talking about. He said not only was I like her, but if you squinted at the t.v. it looked a little like me. Silly ex-boyfriend.

And then there's another ex-dude that the finale reminded me of. More on the Will and Grace relationship side...but he isn't gay...and if he is...he is an awesomely good actor.
________________________________


On a completely unrelated subject, if you know you are going to be a contestant on Jeopardy maybe you should do a week or two of the Crest white strips before the taping.

________________________________

I had chinese food tonight with my parents. My fortune said "Romance is about to blossom".

Bring it on.

I'm working at job number two all weekend, so maybe I'll meet him there.

________________________________

You people are boring and I'm fun, so I'm outta here.

No wait, what I mean is I will visit you all soon. I promise. Kisses.

So I get up this morning and take the puppy for a walk, and as soon as we get back in the front door he starts doing this crazy thing with his paws to his face...and he sounds like he's choking...and he just keeps putting his paws up to his face with his mouth open and making these choking sounds. So I am freaking thinking if he's choking I have like 2 minutes max to get it out of his throat...so I stick my fingers down his throat...nothing...I'm feeling around in his mouth, under his tongue...he's still acting like he needs the heimlich maneuver and of course I have absolutely no idea how to give the heimlich maneuver to a dog... so I'm bawling thinking my dog is dying and I don't know what to do...then I find it...a piece of wood, bark or something, is wedged between his teeth on the top of his mouth...you know, like a retainer?

Just because the guy has stopped singing does not mean the song is over. It is so annoying to be listening to a good song only to have the radio station cut off the last third of it because the lyrics are over.

Also, there should be a rule that if you are driving on the highway and something falls off of your car/truck, like a ladder or a shovel, then you should be beaten with the ladder or the shovel (or other object) until you have learned how to properly secure things to your car/truck.

It was my mom's birthday on Saturday and we went out for a really good dinner. I had sea bass and scallops. Afterwards I thought to myself, isn't sea bass the endangered one? I will go Google that now.

I have been trying to blog, and stay in touch with my friends, and eat, but I have been so busy.

I started a second job at a restaurant so I can meet people in my new town, get some exercise and spoil my puppy (see above) so if I'm not at my regular job, or playing with Charlie, then I am at my second job, or passed out.

I am not ignoring you, I am just on spin cycle.

Saw a hitchhiker today...just wondering if anybody still picks them up...

And, no that's it.

Yes, I am this kind of silly now...

Charlie's Dogster Page

Thanks Jim in Tonic for the Dogster info...Charlie is going to link your pups soon.

It's a boy!

I got my puppy...he was rescued from the Bahamas and he's a little under the weather so I have not been able to blog since I got him.

His name is Charlie and he is SO sweet. I will post pictures soon. In the meantime, I heard this older song on the radio today...and I just had to post the lyrics because they are the best. lyrics. ever.

Seriously.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99,

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now...

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…