So I went to the doctor yesterday for my regular check-up sorta torture.Everything went fine except for the scale thingy.
The doctor said "Binsk you're fat as hell, lose some weight" Well, maybe that isn't exactly what she said.
Anyway, does anybody have any weight loss tips they'd like to share with their chubby internet friend?
And not the eat less, exercise more stuff...I want fast and painless.
47 comments:
Apparently people believe that slim girls eat a lot of crackers and rice cakes.* Maybe try that?
*This is the inescapable impression I'm getting based on my IDH of Mena Suvari, so make of it what you will.
"Yo-fat Girl"...are you kidding me??
Cut out white food--you'll lose weight.
surgery! seriously i don't know. I'm eternally on a diet and still overweight so whatever I'm doing ain't working :(
sex with strange americans! works for me.
YOU, fat? Are you sure your doctor wasn't tipsy that day?
If you want quick and painless and you're not a herbivore, do the Atkins for at least two weeks but no longer than a month. It doesn't work long term, but for a quick fix it's magical and you won't starve.
Like blog ho said, you should supplement the diet with sex with strange Americans. Try midwesterners. ;)
I'm not convinnced that your doctor was actually talking to you, because based on your HNT photos alone, you don't need to lsoe weight. Then again, you've only given us partial glimpses of the whole you.
Leesa has a point, though. Refined sugars and flour are not good for you. If you eat lots of sugary things or with refined sugars and wheat flour, cut way back on those. Ditch the regular sodas - they'll kill you. Drink lots and lots of water. It makes you go to the bathroom a lot, but you'll also wash out a lot of the bad stuff that's in your system.
I'm doing the Nutrisystem thing, as you know. It's working. If you're looking for a quick fix, though, the Atkins approach does work.
Keep in mind that the weight you lose in the first week or two is nothing but excess water that your body has been hording. That alone can contribute anywhere between 5 to 10 pounds to your overall weight.
Can you tell I've dealt with this for a while?
Give up white flour and sugar, don't eat after 8pm and drink tons of water.
I'm trying to loose weight too!
We should start a Blogger Weight Watchers - LOL!!!!
I invented a new pill for weightloss. it's 4 inches wide and made of cork.
or try smoking.
You could try the Kate Moss weightloss program.
Breakfast - Line of coke, 2 cigarettes.
Lunch - Couple shots of Jack Daniels, 2 lines, 2 cigarettes and a trisquit.
Dinner - All of the above but include a laxative
no i have none.
i'd love to lose some weight but not if it means eating boring food.
Memphis Steve - How about cardboard? It sounds as appetizing as rice cakes.
Leesa - Okay I think that will be my plan. Thanks chicklette.
zuzula - Yeah to lose the amount I want the surgeon would have to remove both legs.
Blog ho - What are these "Americans" you keep talking about?
Shinta - No my doctor was sober, but I was drunk, does that count?
Schadeboy - Oh well my HNT's are all smoke and mirrors. :)
Thanks for all of the advice, it's great!
snavylyn - Okay. Let's just email eachother our progress.
C.J Hixon - Mmmmph mormmmmmmmph, shit I can't talk with this "pill" in my mouth.
Mic - You are too funny!
clara* - I know, Steve wants me to eat cardboard ;)
A friend of mine, Slicky, has a band named Under8d that does an original called "Fat Girls" which contains all the words in your pic. Weird. I suppose anything can be used for inspirado... cause you know, you cannot manufacture inspirado...
As for weight loss the quick and painless way? Umm... aneasthetize your leg completely and replace with a hollow replica? That's also useful for storing items you don't want to carry by hand...
You can chop your head off and lose about 8lbs I think.
It only hurts for a sec.
I can think of LOTS of stuff, but I won't say it in front of the kiddles.
;)
Swine flu?
...um, ok, here goes...eat breakfast (seriously), drink lots of water, eat fish, avoid starchy foods (pasta, breads)...seriously, the quickest way to drop a few pounds is to wake up an hour early each morning, down one to two cups of black (gotta be black) coffee, and go for a 1/2 hour to 1 hour vigorous walk BEFORE you eat breakfast...walking is lower intensity, so it won't cause as much catabolic effects as jogging or running...since you haven’t eaten anything, you’ll use fat for energy right away...and the coffee gets the fat burning process jump started...feel free to substitute nookie for the walk...
leave a jar of Mayonnaise
on the front porch for a few of days and eat a spoonful or two....the weight should fall right off
cocaine and cigarettes.
begin stone throwing now. she said she didn't want to hear less food more exercise.
you are sexy the way you are...no need to loose weight...unless its a health thing
This might help....
http://channels.netscape.com/homerealestate/package.jsp?name=fte/blueagave/blueagave
...I think I wrote about this at some point too...oh, here it is:
http://fatmike.blogspot.com/2004/11/secret-in-truth-there-is-no-bad-food.html
...maybe read this too while you're at it:
http://fatmike.blogspot.com/2004/11/laugh-and-be-fat-laugh-and-be-fat.html
Starvation? Duct tape across your mouth?
Those are my plans!
Girl. You are NOT FAT! OMG. Slap that doctor silly. What does he know besides looking at innards?! Tell him to keep his advice to himself. Idiots!
And isn't it lovely to be in a compromising position?! Did ya bring your cam?! haha
When I was exercising more, I was walking 45 min... then I found Curves. But I'm so bored with Curves. Now that the weather will start cooling off, I plan on going back to walking. I was surprised at how quickly I was losing. Oh. And LOTS OF WATER~
M~
More SEX and less beer.
wopanese - How would one anesthetize their own leg? And could I do it to my brain for a little high?
Jerk - I think some people's heads weigh a lot more than others. Or maybe that's just an illusion.
R. Scott Bonnell - You've scott to be kidding. ;)
Fat Mike - Okay that sounds awesome thanks. But the getting up an hour early might be trouble.
And I will check out your posts now.
Anonymous - You first.
zona boy - Are those menthol cigarettes?? Mmmmmmmmmmm...
smelly - Thanks darling. But it's definitely not an option it's a necessity.
blogger unknown - Why thank you kind sir. You are always so nice to me! But there is a fine line between a little meat and disgusting ickiness.
Osbasso - See that's what I need, a pill! Perfect. Except for the not getting drunk part.
M - Oh yeah there's nothing better than stirrups and a doctor making small talk. Good times.
Yes this water thing seems to be a concensus.
Ooops missed Hatley - How 'bout more sex and the same amount of beer?
Run! It just melts off. A lot of people hate running though. Getting really sick works too, OR, you could develop an eating disorder. OR, you could just be happy the way you are and not worry about it. What do doctors know anyways?
i'm a skinny girl and i can tell you right now it's becuase i have a whole hell of a lot of sex. seriously get a boy-toy (or a girl-toy if that's your thing) turn up the heat and off the ac, and go at it like rabbits. Be sure to switch positions freqwuently to use all your muscles. It works great - good aerobic workout and you won't have time to eat. win win.
My advice is to cut out meat and other flesh (yuck) and eat watery fruits and veggies - they take up more space in your stomach and you feel more full. Also, try a power bar or something of the sort for breakfast and lunch - they have lots of vitamins, but not as many calories as a real meal. And, don't forget fiber! Those power bars have lots of fiber, too, which is good - you want to keep everything moving through your system. Cocaine is also good as an appetite suppressant.
Which brings me back to Mic - I am pretty certain she was doing way more than just a few lines a day...
Kate Moss, that is. Not our Binsky-poo!
Binsk...I love you.
Ok, I'm stuck at the 150 lb loss mark myself. So I've halved myself now.
Mary-Kate Olsen diet. Binge..purge...
Just kidding!!! :-)
I won't tell you eat less move more. Just try cutting out sugars and some carbs. Eat good carbs, brown rice, wheat bread. Dark meat....
But you DON'T LOOK FAT!!!
I did the ephedra thing when you could still buy it at GNC, but since people are now DEAD from it, hmmph.
But quick and painless it was...well, I am sure the dead people would beg to differ.
Do the humpty hump..I'm gonna be singing that song all gosh darn night now..sigh.
;)
~L.
water water water, when u thik your hungry drink water to trick your stomach to think it's full , gives you room to eat healthy and not lots
I lots a lot of weight on Atkins, even though Atkins is on the way out. I still lost a lot of weight on it, and steaks for dinner every night rules!
Okay - this is what my trainer told me...
Eat SIX to EIGHT times a day...small meals. It takes 150 calories to burn off a meal. If you keep your body burning fuel all day, your metabolism spikes.
I tried it last week and I SWEAR to GOD I lost 8lbs...and I was eating good stuff too!
do they still make menthol cigs?
those are so 70's
i smoke menthols :(
binsky my sweet, you could weigh 300 lbs and still turn me on. i mean... if you weren't my cyber sister...
hmm.
Wellbutrin.
It melts fat off you.
No joke.
I think your doctor is on crack, personally. I was going to suggest Atkins but someone beat me to it. I'm on it right now; I plan on losing as much as I can before my birthday rolls around (Nov 11). That's when my comfort food season begins. You'll get better results if you do moderate exercise; if you do more you'll need to eat some carbs (4-6 grams or so) for fuel. I started earlier this week and so far, so good so if you need an Atkins buddy, let me know.
Also, check out their website http://atkins.com for recipes and an explanation of net carbs.
the scales at the doctor's office are pure, pure EVIL!! :)
Maybe someone already said this, but in order to combat the doc's painful words, all you have to do is check on of your bazillion comments on your HNT photos and see how many people, men and women alike, want you just as you are. Enough said.
Obviously, more sex... boff your brains out.
I know the pain, sweetie. Believe me. But that's because I'm a self indulgent bitch. ;)
Been getting into running - but a couple of my friends lost 1/3 of themselves doing coke everyday!
Just saying. hehe
Get back into soccer. You were good.
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Fasting can make you look much thinner in only a couple of days. You may not lose a significant amount of weight, but it will look like you have. It can make your waist noticeable thinner and clean up blemishes or skin problems.
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