So there's this guy in my office who like your normal co-worker people will say "Hi Robin" when we are passing eachother in the hall. Cool. So I say "Hi Kevin" and he usually says "What's up?" or "How are you?" and I answer him with your standard "Nothing much and you?" or "I'm good thanks. How are you doing?". Sounds normal enough right? The problem is he never answers my last question. There's just silence as I walk away. The first time I said "Good thanks, how are you?" and he didn't answer I figured he just didn't hear me, but he does it EVERY time.
Odd isn't it?
20 comments:
simple. he's deaf.
or rude. OR he's being polite because his life is really shitty and he doesn't feel like dumping on you.
I've had similar exchanges and it works both ways. There have been times when the other person is already walking away by the time i get to reply to the last "how are you?". My options are simple ... 1. screw it and move on or 2. yell out my response.
So far I've always taken option 1. Maybe someday if i'm in a real crappy mood and pissed at that person I'll take option 2 ;)
Kevin???
Maybe he wants to say ....I'd be much better if you would have me as your husband.... or he'd like to say oh im okay except for burying mom in the basement... sometimes it's just best to leave things unsaid! :-)
Rude...I'm going with with rude.
Those exchanges in the hall don't count. It's just pointless small talk that you only participate in because you happen past someone in the hall. I usually answer the question though...
Ah, so he's just going thru the motions. Maybe instead of the usual 'I'm fines' you should say 'not bad for having spent last night in jail' and see what he says.
I'm with Paul on this one. It becomes habit and routine, after awhile you probably don't hear each other. It happens to me all the time on the phone ....
Me: Good afternoon, Kim speaking
Client: Hi Kim, it's David
Me: Fine thank you and yourself?
LOL I'm not intentionally rude, it's just 99% of the people always ask me right off how I'm doing. My reply is habit. I doubt they really want to know.
My fav when I'm in a bitchy mood?
Me: Good afternoon, Kim speaking
Client: Hi it's David, how are you doing today?
Me: Fine thanks
Then there is a dead silence. See habit is telling him that I should respond to him by asking the same question - not when I'm feeling bitchy LOL
Try asking how he is before he has the chance to ask you. It could work...
Or you could break the routine, throwing him for a loop...
Hi Robin, how are you?
Fucking shitty, Kevin, and yourself?
I love this kind of stuff..I think you should act like a lunatic.
KEVIN! OH MY GOD, I'M GREAT! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!
Wave your arms wildly, and be all animated with big eyes and a loopy grin and then make up some outlandish story..and then skip off down the hall.
See, I miss working outside the home. I used to do crap like that at the police department all the time. Sigh.
~L.
this happens in my office a few times. It's like a building full of mimes.
yeah.. i've noticed that too!! i guess its just become a perfunctory statement, and no one really says 'how are you' cos they mean it.. sad ain't it?
I know personally I get tired of answering that because it's so mechanical.
Even when I'm not good mood, I still say "I'm good."
There are days when I really want to say "completely bloody lousy, how are you?"
But the lone time I tried that I got a bad look.
When someone says "Good morning" to you, I don't suggest you answer back with "what's so good about it?"
be like DUDE I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION!
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Everyone does this, I think. And I've also discovered that it's a bad idea to answer with anything more than "fine thanks" because people get all confused. Like, I tend to be just straight-up honest. I said, "I'm doing shitty" or "I ain't been laid in a month" or "I'm addicted to meth" and these people, they get all confused and just don't know what to say after that. So now I just say "fine thanks" and pretend everything is great like everyone else does.
You should totally count your blessings. ;) There was this girl at the office that I used to work at that everytime you would say the regular old "Hi, how are you?" (Where the only correct response, no matter how crappy you are, is "good, how are you?) she would go into this long 20 minute speech about how everything is her life is wrong. I used to actually take alternate hallways to avoid her. ;)
I have been noticing this more and more increasingly the last ten years or so. Many people don't actually take it as a question that you're asking to find out the answer - it's more like a "hello" than anything. Kind of like "what's up?" or the abbreviated "sup" - these too are more like greetings than actual questions. Don't get irritated - maybe next time Kevin says "hey how are you?" you could just say "hi what's up" or even a simple "hello" back. Linguistically, it's very interesting to me how different people process and respond to this "question" so differently...
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