Tuesday, January 31, 2006

If you are at work...and you don't want the people around you to think that Mickey Mouse is in your cubicle smoking up or something then maybe you should get some headphones or turn your speakers down really low and stick your ear on them. I'm also not sure about the whole speech pattern I've got going on here.

My first music video .

Enjoy the last day of January.

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Superstore in my town just opened and it should be called the Onlystore because there is NOTHING that you can't buy there. It kinda freaks me out.

Anyway, I was standing at the deli, which is twenty aisles over from furniture, and there are A LOT of people waiting in line. Everybody is taking their turn, like good little shoppers, when a new deli boy comes along and says:

"Who's next?"

I think it might be me so I say:

"Maybe me?"

The woman beside me says:

"No it's that guy."
(pointing to an older dude way down on the other side of the football field deli counter)

I say:

"Oh sorry, I didn't see him."

She says :

"Well I only noticed him because I danced with him. Well not REALLY, but you know what I mean."

I smile, because when people say things that make no sense to me I am not really interested in asking them what the hell they are talking about. But after I left I couldn't stop thinking about what she said to me:

"I danced with him. Well not REALLY, but you know what I mean."

Nuh uh.

Do you know what the hell that means?????

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Leave me
Lying here
Cause I don’t wanna go

Tell me, tell me what you really want from me
You gotta let me know
I’m falling off and I need you terribly
One down, and one to go

Volcano girls we really can’t be beat
Warm us up and watch us blow
Volcano Girl - Veruca Salt
HNT is just a click of the red button in the sidebar away --->
Last post til HNT tonight.

Click here to see a time lapsed video of a drive from L.A. to New York.

Link thanks to the lovely and talented Christie at All Things Christie.

And yes Brian I know you were there.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Binsk!

  1. Baskin Robbins once made Binsk flavoured ice cream.
  2. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Binsk and water.
  3. Devoid of her cells and proteins, Binsk has the same chemical makeup as sea water!
  4. The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Binsk state'.
  5. In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Binsk.
  6. The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Binsk.
  7. Binsk is picked, sorted and packed entirely in the field.
  8. The most dangerous form of Binsk is the bicycle.
  9. All swans in England belong to Binsk!
  10. Binsk can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Leesa always finds the coolest things...and by coolest, I mean gayest, and by gayest, I mean the things I love the most. So I'm not being a gay hater. Or as some call it a ghater. I got no time for ghaters.

A few guys in my office are home with some sickness that sounds like the flu, and if I catch it I'm gonna beat someone up.

Of course I am relatively anti-social at work so I'm probably not in a high risk category.

And I Purell my hands every 10 minutes all day long.

Everybody please stop crying about the Conservatives. They aren't Nazis, and they only have a minority. Things will carry on just the way they did before, don't you worry.

That's all for now I guess.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A few hours ago, in the bathroom, a very bejewelled woman that I have never seen before, told me that I have a knowing face.

I said "Knowing?"
She said "Yes."
I just smiled, because what do you really say to that?

"Yes I feel that I am a very big knower type girl"
"I hope my face keeps my brain updated." *wink*

Monday, January 23, 2006

I started a new blog just for Illustration Fridays. This week's subject was cat.

Other than that I am going to go and vote soon for somebody that is probably lying about all the neat stuff they are going to give us if they win.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

When I was in grade seven I had a boyfriend who was in grade six.
He would carve "Danny loves Robinhood" in my desk when he had class in my room.
My teacher would tell me to tell my boyfriend to stop carving in my desk.
The girl that sat in front of me, Lisa, was very nice and would laugh about Danny and his silly but sweet carvings.
Danny would ride the bus home with me and bought me shoelaces with hearts on them.
He would call my house, and my dad would answer, and I would say I don't know anyone named Danny because I didn't want my parents to know I had a boyfriend.
Then Danny moved away (nothing to do with me pretending not to know him).
He moved back in grade ten.
We became friends again and we all hung out being silly teenagers.
Remember Lisa from way back in grade seven?
She ended up getting together with Danny in grade eleven.
She got pregnant with Danny's baby.
Danny had a motorcycle.
One day in late fall I was driving home from school.
At the top of my street there were police cars, and ambulances, and firetrucks.
I wanted to pull over to see what was happening.
But something told me no.
It told me no so strongly I drove straight home without stopping.
Two hours later my friend called to tell me Danny had died.
He died at the top of my street, his motorcycle slid right under a car.
Lisa was at the funeral, eight months pregnant.
Tuesday would be Danny's birthday.
And his son never got to meet him.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Hey all you Canadians with breasts check this out!

Breast of Canada Photo Contest

Thanks to one of my favourite photographers Jeff Phillips for the link.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday

I had a few Stellas and decided to cut my own hair for HNT.
I haven't had bangs for TEN years.
And in case you don't care about my bangs, here's a more nekkid photo...

If you want to play HNT and you don't know what it is, click the red button in the sidebar.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Your Personality Is

Artisan (SP)

You are both grounded and flexible. You adapt well to new situations.

You are playful and free spirited - but you are also dependable and never flaky.

You don't do well in conservative, stuffy situations.

It's probably very hard for you to keep a normal job or stay in school.

You are always up for fun and adventure. Most people are too boring for you.

You take risks and bend the rules. And if things don't work out, you chock it up to life experience.

In love, you tend to take things quickly - but you have a huge problem with commitment.

At work, you need to make your own rules. You're best suited to be an entrepreneur.

With others, you are animated and physical. You prefer doing something with friends to just hanging out.

I mean come on, it's like my brain has been bugged when I take these quizzes.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Here is my own set of rules for 2006. Pay attention.

New Rule: Stop acting like being male makes you a better poker player, commercial real estate agent or chef. It's not true. All it makes you is hairier and more likely to hump stuff.

New Rule: Keep your piece of crap car out of my lane.

New Rule: If you have a really bad hacking cough and fever stay the fuck home.

New Rule: Try not to have your cell phone ringer on full blast...the rest of us don't need to hear your favourite gay song every time your only friend calls you.

New Rule: Just because you are famous doesn't mean you are smart. Stop sharing your words of wisdom with us and just act or smile or whatever it is you do.

New Rule: Don't call it the special of the day on the menu, call it what it really is, the stuff that you are trying to get rid of before it goes bad.

New Rule: Have a point. And get to it. I don't need to hear the complete functioning of your synapses from start to finish. Less is more. Unless it's money or beer.

Monday, January 16, 2006

NEW RULES for 2006 (George Carlin)

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com. There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Stolen from Countess

Yoda I am

I have realized that I write like Yoda.

I'm not sure if I speak the same way...but keep you posted I will.
The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski


Sunday, January 15, 2006

This is my friend Lysa:

Lysa is a newish blogger, but I've known her since we were eleven or twelve.

This is her first Half-Nekkid Thursday picture:

That is a sunburn. Can you imagine?? Click here to say hi and encourage her to share more crazy pictures with us.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Don't worry, he didn't cross your path, he's just laying there all cute and stuff on your monitor. And besides look how tiny he is.
But just to be safe maybe you should throw some salt over your left shoulder and jump around on one foot for a bit.

I got interviewed by Zona Boy...this shit is starting to go to my head yo. Nah.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Wait a second. Pan out.
Tricky cleavage.
It's very hard to take a picture of your own back cleavage btw.
Hey Aughra, this one has got to be bright enough for you to see right?
Click the red button in the sidebar to join HNT.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

There's a new blog about Canadian Women Bloggers and today I got a really nice review that I would like to share with you (with my comments in brackets).

Robin is a veteran of the blog. (I am old for a head of lettuce and young for a mighty oak tree - it's amazing how that saying applies to so many things.)

As far as I know, she has blogged for a few years now. (A year and a half)

She seems to have a fairly large readership. (Don't worry he's not calling you fat, he's saying there are a lot of you)

Robin keeps it simple by using relatively short, often thought provoking posts. (That's a nice way of saying I'm a bit slow and odd)

She doesn't go out of her way to post because she feels she has to, she blogs when she feels the urge to. (That's pretty much my m.o. for everything)

From reading Robin's blog, I get the feeling she is the same in person to her closest friends as she is to her on-line blog friends, a true Capricorn. LOYAL! (Well now's the time to speak up all you lurking real friends of mine who never comment. Of course that's only if you were gonna say nice stuff)

Robin is creative with her site as she changes her template from time to time and makes it unique to her. (Well thank-you.)

Robin has flare with her camera as she shows that while participating in a blog phenomenon called Half Nekkid Thursday. (Thank-you again. I love taking pictures. When I grow up I want to be a photographer or a caterpillar.)

If you haven't read about this before, you should go to her site and find out what it is all about. (It's about everybody getting half naked and taking pictures...good times, good times.)

An interview with Robin is definitely pending as I think she would have a lot of valuable insight to us new bloggers as to what blogging used to be versus what it is now. (Valuable insight? From the slow, odd girl? I bet you are on the edge of your seats. I kid, I kid...I'm sure I've got lots of fascinating things to say.)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

After some serious & cautious consideration...your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2006! It was a very hard decision to make, so try not to fuck it up!! xoxo
What the hell happened to my computer chair? It used to glide across the floor so nicely, now it drags and sticks. Damn.

Why can't I sleep at night?

Why do you always have to say good morning to me? I don't think mornings in an office are good. If we were on a beach or something, good morning might make more sense.

My parents are so sad. Their cat Rocky died today. He was so sweet. I'm sad too.

There's a ghost in my house that keeps turning the heat up. But I don't think it's a mean ghost, maybe just a cold ghost.

Sometimes I can't stop thinking about silly things.

I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you...I never meant to.

I need a new washer it squeaks, I need a new dryer it overheats, I need a new refrigerator it buzzes.

Thank you for your support and love, it means more to me than you will ever know.

I hope I've helped you in some small way too.

Sometimes I want to be angry, to make sense of the senselessness of things, but anger doesn't help.

I like the name Arielle. I think I will name my daughter that.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Ha ha. My buddy Lisa L to the M had this on her blog.
Check it out

Friday, January 06, 2006

I'm addicted to Poker Stars...there is a guy playing tonight and his handle is slapnutz 5. How many slapnutzes could there be in the world, let alone in this game? Is the 5 really necessary? And what kind of a motard name is that anyway?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Thank you all for your birthday wishes, you guys are the BEST. I am still enjoying the last few hours of my birthday and here's a shot taken after a few bottles of birthday wine. Love you guys.
It's my birthday today...I'm a Capricorn...just like Jesus, and Elvis and Howard Stern.

What's that?

All I can tell you is I am old for a head of lettuce and young for a mighty oak tree.

Already had three phone calls and two emails...I am feeling the love.