So the magazine with my photographs came out yesterday.

Yeah, you would think that's great and shit.

Well except that I forgot the golden rule:

If you don't do it yourself then it is going to be fucked up beyond recognition.

Or as my mother so sensitively put it when I told her I was upset, "If it isn't exactly how Robin wants it then it is a big problem." Yeah, I LOVE when my mother speaks to me, about me, in the third person. It warms the cockles of my heart, and the sub-cockles as my boyfriend Denis Leary would say.

Anyway, I send these motards (a.k.a. the editors/publishers) my pictures, with descriptions of each one. Easy right? Well yeah you would think. However, rather than publishing my descriptions they used the NAME OF THE JPEGS. Yeah. You know how you name your pictures silly things just so you can remember them? Like the picture of the frog they published said FROGGY beside it like my five year old (if I had a five year old) named it. And I'm sure the COOL 3 title of the fence said to the readers 'She's simple and special, in the hockey helmet, short school bus sorta way - but she seems to have an eye for photography. She's like an idiot savant. Nice!'

Oh and then I guess they thought they would take a little creative licence and name one of my close up pictures ABSTRACT. Yeah close up, abstract, whatever.

22,000 issues distributed in the new town I live in.

I'm moving.

Two FIRSTS and a third in the fall fair photography competition in the town next to mine.

I'm on a roll.

Oh yeah that's how punny I am.

Do you know what happens when you drop a bottle of grenadine on a tile floor?

Let me tell you.

It looks like a murder scene.

A murder scene in the wait station at your new job.

Aces.

Some little fucking shit just 5 seconds ago picked up a rock and threw it at my dog while he was wagging his tail and being all friendly on his leash in the backyard.

She didn't see me, I guess she was too stupid to look in the back door where I was sitting. I said "EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Nothing. I said "Do you want me to tell your mother you are throwing rocks at my dog?????" and another little SHIT said "Do you even know her mother?" I said "I'll find her." and the little hooligans walked away. I'm gonna find her and ask if she knows she is raising a little bitch. She couldn't have been more than 12.

What the hell is wrong with this world that a young girl would throw a rock at a puppy wagging his tail?

Okay I'm off to work now. Hopefully nobody throws anything at me while I'm there.

Just got home from shift number two at my new waitressing gig. I waited my own tables with my own number and these little waitress chicks took more than half of my tips, cause you know it's only fair. Fair my ass.

I put a bug in the owner's ear that I wanted to start on the bar asap. Eff this waiting tables crap. The real money is one beer, one dollar. 10 seconds for a dollar is a good return on my time.

I auditioned for the choir the other night. There were six of us. At the end the dude says "Okay thank you all we have your numbers, we will call you." My cousins said that when they auditioned the guy said "Okay see you all Monday." So you would think....hmmmm...obviously somebody didn't make it and he didn't want to make them feel bad in front of everybody else. So of course I think it's me. And I tell my parents I don't think I made it. They are like, oh well that's okay. Then I get the call that I DID make it in. So I tell my mom and she says I am too negative for thinking I didn't make it. GAH.

Now I just have to come up with $3000.00 by Halloween so I can go to Ireland with the choir.

That's 3000 beers by Halloween. Not gonna happen. Oh wait is that negative?

I won two second place pretty blue ribbons in the photography competition at the fall fair yesterday.

And I got a second job, because as you may or may not recall I had to quit my last second job because of a jerk.

Job interviews for jobs that aren't your career are so funny because you are much more relaxed and honest. At least I am.


"Robin why do you want this job?"
"Because I need money."



"Oh you worked at La Blah Blah a few months ago, why aren't you there anymore?"
"Because I didn't get along with someone there."
"Oh, a personality clash?"
"Yes."
"Yeah that happens."



"What's your availability?"
"Well I can work any time because my other job is straight commission so I make my own hours. Except I don't want to work in the mornings because it's the same amount of work but less money. Also I would like to work on the bar for as many shifts as you have."
"Okay, can you start Tuesday?"

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.  You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.  Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

Pretty much.

Lameness part two...

Today I am wearing mom jeans...you know the kind that come up past your navel?
I bought them at Costco, they were cheap, and since you don't try things on at Costco you just get it home and go oh great, mom jeans. So they sat in my closet (I'm lying, they sat on the little couch in my room where half of my clothes are) and today I had nothing to wear so I put them on.

Then I decided I needed to go out, so I threw on my jean jacket and went out the door. Now I am in a store in a full denim outfit.

Hotness personified.

The Wit

CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Ricky Gervais

Lame things I did yesterday:

1. Went to choir. And it was SO much fun.

2. Got kicked out of the Big Brother chatroom for not listening to the moderators. Apparently you can type out penis without getting blocked but you can't type out vagina because it's a bad word.

Why would I be typing out penis and vagina in a Big Brother chatroom? I have no idea. Maybe it had something to do with bros before hos, and chicks before dicks.

I think that is enough lameness to be sharing for one sitting.

I want to steal everyone's lawnmowers because obviously people cannot be trusted to use them during non-annoying periods. Who fucking cuts their lawn at 6:30 a.m. on a holiday Monday?

Why do all of the morons in the world live within 5 minutes of me?

I liked your profile and the simplicity of your style...little said much asked for....and yet this lovely, lovely woman, brings so much...

Perhaps it is up to me to tell you of me...and perhaps to tell you of what you are looking....

well I am a dominant master with much experinece in the life....I imagine hearing that as an opening is rather...unusual, but is the baseline...not all that I am...but some....I am a gentleman, who is interesting, introspective, warm. loves theatre, art, music, fine dining, wines, a good cigar, film, sports, politics, history, science...and am looking for the yang to my yin, for someone bright warm, and a lady, who would comfortable on my arm at the theatre, art gallery and as my submissive...who craves to find someone to hand herself to...but who is not one to do it blindly or quickly...a woman who understands the art of sensuality and looks for an artist to share it....I am looking for a woman with the soul of a poet and the heart of a lion...and someone who can laugh...

This is alot to require...but it is what I wish for....so...the question is...."is it you?"

V

Two words. FUCK NO.

A letter to the owner of a bar I used to frequent. I used to drink gallons of white russians there.

Yo Doug,

It's me Robin!

You remember, your regular that moved away??
How are you? How are things?
I just got your Labour Day Weekend email (powered by What's Up)

Anyway, just wanted to say hi...I'll try and stop by some time...

Robin

P.S. I bet you aren't going through as much milk since I moved away.



Hello Robin,

Nice to hear from you, where in God’s green acre did you get to and was the move so far away that we will only get to see you at home comings and Christmas? I’m great and business is booming, the area just keeps getting better and better. I am in the middle of trying to open another restaurant in the area, I am going to open an upscale Italian restaurant that I’ve named CUCCI you know the type white table cloth, dark woods with candle light and a baby grand piano. It's great to hear that the email letters are working and thanks for dropping me a line, as for the milk consumption, I received a “hope all is still well” card from the Ontario dairy board.

Again it was great to hear from you Robin,

Doug

Today when I was at the grocery store, in the self check out part, because it is way more fun, I saw this couple with a watermelon and they were saying to the kid that monitors like eight of the self scanners:

"Can you take this off our bill, we don't want it, it's ELEVEN dollars"

NOT

"There must be something wrong here this watermelon scanned as eleven dollars"

They actually thought a watermelon the size of a canteloupe was ELEVEN dollars.

I don't know maybe it's just me.

Well, well, two days on the dating website and I run into someone I know.

Hey!!!

How are you? I haven't seen you in ages. I see you are still so beautiful!

How is your search going? I haven't had any luck. A few people chatting on MSN, other than that it has been pretty crappy.

I can't believe you are still single... Or are you?

We should go out for a drink sometime... What do you think?


Ha ha, he says "Or are you?"

Other than that, how very sweet.

I don't know if I am going to meet Mr. Right on this thing, but some of the guys are just too ridiculous not to share with you. Let me know if any of these lines are working for you and I will hook you up.

"I have my deploma in journalism. I describe everything as we talk to long to type inthis box"
Ewe hav a deploma in journalism? Me to.


"eye-luv-2-kiss-do-u.?"
Pfffffft.


"new on this site just checkin out..attracted to witty intteligent women with a zest for life..energetic hard working with a greek backround guy..lol"

LOL huh? I fail to see the humour except for the fact that you spelled intelligent wrong.

"The dancing green guy is Mr Hanke!!"

No idea what this means. Anyone?

I have a few tips for you guys out there looking for a girl online.

Put a shirt on.
Don't refer to yourself as "Hollywood" or "Stallion"
Post a picture of yourself where you don't look like a serial killer (if one has ever been taken).
Put a shirt on.

You can click this.

Yes, I figured out how to make a button for my photoblog.
Figured out = Copied Leesa's button and changed the link and the picture.

Now I just have to "figure out" how to move my blog main page and sidebar over two inches because they look like they are being sucked off of my screen.

My newest nickname for my dog is Doogie Rough Howser. He's like a linebacker the way he charges at me sometimes. Linebackers charge right?

Other than that, I signed up for a dating site, it was free and my friend forced me to (kinda), but it seems very scary to me. I don't like the whole strange men wanting to meet thing. Maybe we can just always be email pals. Speaking of strange men, I'm gonna call you soon Jeff.

Why can't I cut and paste into blogger anymore??????

My washing machine's spin cycle is broken now so I guess I am going to have to wear dirty clothes or hold the sopping wet ones in my hands and spin around really fast. FAHK.

If you take a picture of someone unknowingly, can you use it as art? Can you sell it? The paparazzi do it so I guess I answered my own question. Or maybe not. Do you own your own image? Anybody?

This is a post from last night...and I took out the barfing part because obviously it wasn't clear.

I am tired because some nimwit thought that Monday morning at 5:45 a.m. was a GREAT time to start up HIS really loud machine. I know it was a him, I just know it. If I had a gun in my house, you know for protection from burglars and stuff, there is no telling what I would have done.

5:45

A.M.

Poor Pluto.

OMG. I thought my blog birthday was August 24th but I just checked and it was really August 18th. So I am now two years and 4 days old.

So in honour of my belated 2nd blogaversary here are a few of my favourites (you have to scroll up a bit on each one because it goes right to the comments - I wouldn't say I have learned much technically in the past two years):

My attempt at writing poetry like Rosie O'Donnell

I was getting half naked before I knew about HNT

My D.N.A. revealed (top secret)

Stupid things I say

Half Naked (nekkid)

Half Naked (nekkid)

Sweet letter

Half Naked (nekkid)

Me from A-Zed

The Paparazzi

My rules for 2006

Half Naked (nekkid)

A quiz about me

The gay debate


I love blogging more than anything. Well, more than most things.

Two years ago I would have never suspected that I would meet so many cool people, learn so much, and have a fucking awesome time doing it.

Peace bloggy peeps. Peace.

Hi again Robin,

We are using your images for Fall Sideroads 2006 and I'm in the process of sorting and editing to decide which ones I'll publish. In the meantime, do you have a photo of yourself that we can use? I'd like you to send in a bit of a bio to say who you are, your photographic background and perhaps (after I select the images) a bit of technical info.

Yay!

You are Wonder Woman

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

I know you want to know who you are, don't deny it

Na na na na na na na Wonder Womaaaan!

Steve has gone mad.

Seems my little subtitle "Being P.C. is for pussies" has upset some people.

Let me explain the way I see things.

Hatred is not the opposite of "politically correct".

There are people that are quite nasty and hateful that are very proficient at being politically correct.

Then there are the mindless sheep that just follow the rules and say "Uh okay I will say or not say what I am told to".

I am in another category.

I question what I am told to say and why I am told to say it.

If all women were politically correct in the past we wouldn't be where we are today.

So fuck your political correctness. I will say what I believe.

Charlie got neutered today...

Why Male Dogs Are Neutered - Intact male dogs (those not neutered) are prone to a number of annoying behaviors that are directly related to testosterone production. Behaviors such as urine marking; mounting other dogs, objects, and people; roaming in search of females; and aggression toward other male dogs are all caused by testosterone. Having the dog neutered, thus eliminating testosterone production, greatly reduces these behaviors, as well as decreases the animal's level of stress.

Maybe we should start neutering male humans, like say for example George Bush.

Are you a garage person or a backyard person?

Why?

My answer:

I am a backyard person because I have no idea why anyone would rather hang out in their garage, except maybe if there is a fridge in there, with Stellas in it.

You Are Number 4 - The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy, dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What Number Are You?

Capricorn Horoscope for week of August 10, 2006

Recently my nine-year-old bike has developed an unfortunate glitch. When I ride up hills, and only when I ride up hills, the chain periodically gets lodged in the transmission mechanism. If I act quickly, taking action the instant I hear the incipient grinding noise, there's something I can do to fix the problem and keep from lurching to a halt: I have to temporarily pedal backwards; doing that frees the chain from its stuck place. So picture this scene: As I ascend, I'm able to push forward for long stretches, but now and then have to pedal in reverse, slipping backward a few feet. From what I can tell, Capricorn, this is similar to the rhythm your life has right now. It's OK to bitch about it, as I do during my travail, but you should also feel grateful for the way it's building your strength and character.

P.S. I predict you will reach the top by September.

Well thank fuck for that.

Want yours?

I have nothing to say just wanted to move along.

Let's see, it's Saturday and my dog ate through one of the straps of my bra that I so sillily left on the couch in my room so now I am going to go and buy a new one, not that I don't have other bras but this one was my favourite.

Also I am going to clean my kitchen.

Isn't your brain so much more enriched for knowing this?

Nome said...
What's up with using gay as a synonym for lame? That's too sad for words.
2:04 AM

Nome said...
Am I the only one who notices these 'gay' references with substantial distress?
2:06 AM

Binsk said...
Whatever...I like to say gay and it has nothing to do with a hatred towards homosexuals so chill out. Actually it has nothing to do with homosexuals at all. I suppose I can't use the word queer anymore either?
10:37 AM

Binsk said...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay
11:00 AM

Binsk said...
I'm taking it back Nome.
11:00 AM

Binsk said...
Check out the part on COMMONLY ACCEPTED usage towards the bottom of the Wikipedia page.

People that say hubby, as in "hubby and I like this" or "hubby and I went out to a movie" make me want to rip out their hair and shove it in their gay ass mouths.

Okay, I don't feel that violent about it, I was being dramatic for comedy's sake, but really who says that that isn't some annoyingly high voiced, prissy, animal sweater wearing, mope?

Or maybe it's just that *somebody* needs a hubby.

Oh that's right, I zing myself before you can.

I did this a long time ago and I think I got the same results:

My Personal Dna Report

It's pretty interesting if you like gay internet quizzes.

My new nickname for my dog is puppamuppalous. Cute right? I think it's his new fave actually.
__________

Saw Clerks II last night and really liked it. I mean there were some weird parts, but overall it was enjoyable with burst out laughing parts sprinkled throughout. I'd tell you some of my favourite lines but I don't want to ruin it for anyone.
__________

Currently I am reading the book "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You To Know About" by that infomercial guy Kevin Trudeau. I don't think he's a quack at all, I think this book is FULL of really good advice.

I'm going to get rid of my microwave tomorrow and I am off the fast food and non-organic red meat period. No I am not overreacting, I've just been doing a lot of reading on natural health lately and I see the same things over and over.

Also I am going to try to be nicer. Really.
__________

I still have the live feeds for Big Brother Allstars. I'm just glad it will be over in a month because I am having problems tearing myself away.

Is it too much to ask for people to shut the fuck up until at least 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning?

I know it's a beautiful day but do we all have to start enjoying it as soon as you and your selfish face are up?

And to the crow who screeched like your head was on fire this morning at 6 a.m. I am getting a bb gun.

I'm going to the farmer's market now. I love farmer's markets.

Silence for more than 5 seconds means my dog is eating something he shouldn't. Today it was a cricket. Poor little Jiminey.

CHECK OUT THIS SITE.

The table of contents is in the left margin, and you gotta be in the mood to read, but I would say it's worth it.

Look at me! I'm a Cyberian!

"To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
~ Emerson

This is my new boyfriend.

Okay not really, it's Will from Big Brother, but I wish he was my new boyfriend.

Don't tell Mr. Depp.