Moved back to my home town.

Got a new washer, dryer, stove, couch, ottoman, chair, computer chair.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

This post brought to you by completely boring information that is only for my amusement.

George Carlin

Yeah Yeah old news, but I loved the guy and I quoted him quite a few times while he was alive so here's one more go for old times sake. We will miss you George...

Life is not as difficult as people think; all one needs is a good set of rules. Since it is probably too late for you, here are some guidelines to pass along to your children.

1. Relax and take it easy. Don't get caught up in hollow conceits such as "doing something with your life." Such twaddle is outmoded and a sure formula for disappointment.

2. Whatever it is you pursue, try to do it just well enough to remain in the middle third of the field. Keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself and don't ask questions. Remember, the squeaky wheel is the first one to be replaced.

3. Size people up quickly, and develop rigid attitudes based on your first impression. If you try to delve deeper and get to "know" people, you're asking for trouble.

4. Don't fall for that superstitious nonsense about treating people the way you would like to be treated. It is a transparently narcissistic approach, and may be the sign of a weak mind.

5. Spend as much time as you can pleading and impressing others, even if it makes you unhappy. Pay special attention to shallow manipulators who can do you the most harm. Remember, in the overall scheme, you count for very little.

6. Surround yourself with inferiors and losers. Not only will you look good by comparison, but they will look up to you, and that will make you feel better.

7. Don't buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it's the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you're not perfect, something is wrong.

8. If by some off chance you do detect a few faults, first, accept the fact that you are probably deeply flawed. Then make a list of your faults and dwell on them. Carry the list around and try to think of things to add. Blame yourself for everything.

9. Beware of intuition and gut instincts, they are completely unreliable. Instead, develop preconceived notions and don't waver unless someone tells you to. Then change your mind and adopt their point of view. But only if they seem to know what they're talking about.

10. Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn't work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that is stupid and harmful.

11. Always remember, today doesn't count. Trying to make something out of today only robs you of precious time that could be spent daydreaming or resting up.

12. Try to dwell on the past. Think of all the mistakes you've made, and how much better it would be if you hadn't made them. Think of what you should have done, and blame yourself for not doing so. And don't go easy. Be really hard on yourself.

13. If by chance you make a fresh mistake, especially a costly one, try to repeat it a few times so you become familiar with it and can do it easily in the future. Write it down. Put it with your list of faults.

14. Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don't get sidetracked with some foolish "plan."

15. Finally, enjoy yourself all the time, and do whatever you want. Don't be seduced by that mindless chatter going around about "responsibility." That's exactly the sort of thing that can ruin your life.

"If we wait for the moment when everything is ready, we shall never begin."

Ivan Turgenev

My mother found this and gave me a copy. Thanks mom.

I bet my cousin Steph and my friend Heather wish that I had read it before I had a cryfest in their ears on Saturday night (because I sold a bunch of crap at a garage sale and other ridiculous reasons).

Apparently I have some attachment issues, but to inanimate objects.

I have to stop it because I don't want to end up like one of those people who hasn't seen their carpet in 5 years because their house is PACKED full of garbage that they think are treasures.


Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower.

But it is already present in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo.

Whatever momentarily arises in the body mind has no real importance at all.

Far better to simply let the entire game happen on its own.

Springing up and falling back like waves; without changing or manipulating anything.

Everything vanishes and reappears, magically, again and again, time without end.

Although peace and happiness do not exist as an actual thing or place, it is always available and accompanies you every instant.

Vain Song by Venerable Gendun Rinpoche


Word.

Watching Big Brother Australia on YouTube because I am a BB addict.

Some of the housemates were hypnotized today (the most susceptible)

I was hypnotized once. I forgot my name. Repeatedly. It's a really strange and surreal experience.

After reading some of the comments that people were leaving about the Big Brother people being hypnotized, I decided to Google what personality type is most easily hypnotized and I found this:

"Hypnotizability does not appear to show any obvious correlation with any of the usual personality traits or characteristics. Not only is gullibility not directly correlated, but gender, extroversion/introversion, and neurotic tendencies have also been shown not to correlate well with hypnotizability. (phew!)

T.X. Barber and his colleague Sheryl Wilson did some interesting research where they apparently identified some loose correlates to hypnotizability, and which appear to enhance an individual's capacity to respond to hypnotic suggestion.

Called the 'fantasy prone personality,' (FPP) these people do not seem to form a unitary personality type, but represent a diverse group of naturally imaginative and visionary individuals.

Josephine Hilgard and other researchers have also found similar results, that some people have particularly rich inner fantasy lives and cultivate a lifetime of vivid imagery experience corresponding to an openness to unusual experience, extraordinary memory in many cases, capacity for intense concentration, sharp sensory acuity, and unusually strong somatic responses to mental imagery (such as response to placebos)."

That's right I am smart and shit. ;)

Have you ever been hypnotized, if so what do you think?

If you haven't ever been hypnotized and you want to call it bullshit, shut up, because you don't know.

Love Binsk

"Let thy food be thy medicine,
and thy medicine be thy food."

Hippocrates, the Father of Modern Medicine

Charlie woke me up today at 6 am.

I thought it was a pee pee emergency because he NEVER does that (he sleeps in with his mommy)

Anyway I take him downstairs and right before I let him out he starts barking like CRAZY and I see a raccoon ass going UP to my balcony. So we both run upstairs and Charlie is still growling and barking and it's light out and this raccoon is just staring in at us 1 foot away. I figured it had gone mad and was rabid so I closed all the windows and went back to bed.

I'm back!

This morning I went to Tim Hortons and this old man let me in the door before him and here's the conversation:

Me: "No you go ahead you were here first"

OM: "No no you go, it doesn't make a difference"

Me: "Okay thanks"

OM: "It's better that I am behind you than you being behind me because I can look at your butt instead of you looking at mine"

Me: *uncomfortable laugh*

OM: "When are the best days of your life?"

Me: (clearly out of my mind starting to CRY)

OM: "You don't know? It's the time you spend in the arms of another woman's husband"

Me: "oh"

OM: "You understand me? I know you"

Me: "what?"

OM: "Your dad, your dad"

Me: "Um okay"

OM: "Do you understand? The best time of your life is when you were in the arm's of another woman's husband. Your dad."

Me: "Ohhhhhhh okay" *more uncomfortable laughter*

OM: "Have a good day"

I cannot have conversations like this when am mentally unstable and have only been awake for half an hour.

How Second Life Affects Real Life

By KRISTINA DELL

About a year ago in my first visit to Second Life, the popular online virtual world, I spent half an hour trying to make my avatar, or online character, look like a hotter version of myself — which isn't easy when you don't know how to use the tools. When I finally made it onto Money Island to mingle, a stranger approached me and said, "Hello there, Devon." I froze. Then I tried to run. I was desperately searching for the teleport tool when my sister walked into the room, peered over my shoulder at the computer screen and said, "Why'd you make your avatar ugly?" I logged off.

I didn't realize how instructive my sister's question was until recently, when I discovered research being done at Stanford University's Virtual Human Interaction Lab (VHIL). Jeremy Bailenson, head of the lab and an assistant professor of communication at Stanford, studies the way self-perception affects behavior. No surprise that what we think about ourselves affects the confidence with which we approach the world. What is a surprise is that this applies in the virtual world too. With my plain Jane avatar and my inexperience in Second Life, I did what most people would want to do in an uncomfortable social situation: run away.

What's more, Bailenson's research suggests that the qualities you acquire online — whether it's confidence or insecurity — can spill over and change your conduct in the real world, often without your awareness. Bailenson has found that even 90 seconds spent chatting it up with avatars is enough to elicit behavioral changes offline — at least in the short-term. "When we cloak ourselves in avatars, it subtly alters the manner in which we behave," says Bailenson. "It's about self-perception and self-confidence." But researchers are still trying to figure out the psychological mechanisms at work, and which way the effect flows: "Do you consciously wear your power suit to feel confident, or is it that you're in this suit and you're feeling up, but you're unaware of the reason?" says Bailenson.

Bailenson's findings have a lot more real-world meaning than you'd think, if only because so many people are spending a so much time in the unreal world. Some 13 million people have visited Second Life at least once, with about 450,000 residents online in a given week. Even more popular is the online game World of Warcraft, which has 10 million active subscribers who pay to participate. People spend on average about 20 hours a week in alternate worlds like these, and at VHIL, whose high-tech virtual world is entered by way of a $24,000 helmet, Bailenson and his Ph.D. students are trying to figure out how these increasingly common virtual experiences bleed into reality. "I've been doing this for years and people have been laughing at me," says Bailenson. "All of a sudden, I have people calling and asking about what I do."

In one experiment, published in Human Communication Research last year, researchers assessed how an avatar's attractiveness affected human behavior, both online and off. Thirty-two volunteers were randomly assigned an attractive or unattractive avatar (attractiveness was rated by undergrads in a survey beforehand) and instructed to look at them in a virtual mirror for 90 seconds. Then they were asked to interact with other avatars, controlled by the experimenters, in a classroom-like setting. Overall, subjects using good-looking avatars tended to display more confidence, friendliness and extraversion, just as in the real world: they approached avatar strangers within three feet, and in conversations tended to disclose more personal details. Ugly duckling avatars, meanwhile, stayed five and a half feet away from strangers and were more tight-lipped.

Lead researcher Nick Yee, a former Stanford graduate student who now works for the nearby Palo Alto Research Center, replicated his study, then appended a second part: an hour after their forays online, the same volunteers were told they were participating in an unrelated study about online romance. They were instructed to pick two potential dates out of nine photos in an online-dating pool. People who had used attractive avatars seemed to hang onto some of the self-assurance that came from being handsome, choosing better-looking dates than those who had homely avatars. "They thought they had a shot," says Bailenson.

If feeling pretty builds confidence, what does height do for you? To find out, Yee recruited 50 volunteers, randomly assigned them to short or tall avatars, then instructed them to divide a virtual pool of $100 with another participant — one player would suggest how to split the pot, and the other could accept or reject the offer, with each person getting nothing if offers were rejected. People with tall avatars (three or four inches taller than the stranger avatar) negotiated more aggressively than the short ones, while short avatars were twice as likely as the tall ones to accept an unfair split — $25 versus $75.

Again, the behavior held up in real life. When Yee had the subjects shed their avatars and negotiate face-to-face, sitting down, people who had inhabited tall avatars bargained more aggressively, suggesting unfair splits more often. And participants who had had short avatars accepted less-than-even money more often than the tall ones. How tall the people were themselves became less important, if only temporarily, than the height of their online alter-egos.

Virtual behavior may even affect real-world health. Stanford graduate student Jesse Fox randomly assigned avatars to 75 volunteers and divided them into three groups: one group watched their look-alike avatars run on treadmills for about five and a half minutes; another group saw their virtual counterparts lounge around; and a third watched avatars who did not look like them, but were of the same age and sex, run on treadmills. A day later, Fox found that participants who watched avatars of their own likeness exercising had themselves exercised an hour more in the intervening 24-hour period than people in the other two groups. (It's worth noting that the volunteers were all Stanford undergraduates, who were likely more active and fitter to start than the average adult.) "What I'm hoping to find out by picking apart these mechanisms is what motivates people and why this works," says Fox. "If you are energized by seeing yourself run, maybe you can put an avatar on the bottom of your computer screen for five minutes and it would persuade you to go to the gym."

The possibilities are — virtually — endless. Inhabit buffed-up versions of yourself to lose weight, cuter versions of yourself to gain confidence, or older versions to start putting money away for the future (that last one is being studied at Stanford now). "The most stunning part is how subtle the manipulations are and how difficult they are to detect," says Bailenson, "but how much it affects real life later on."

Of course, the effect could potentially work both ways — for good or for bad. "In a therapy setting, we could use these virtual environments to get people to become more confident," says Yee. "But they can also be used in advertising and as propaganda."

Before I entered Second Life again I upgraded my avatar to much cuter dimensions. This time I found myself conversing with people instead of logging off. I was more outgoing. Next, I'm considering giving my avatar a cottage by the sea and a job doing charitable work. Maybe some of the positive vibes will rub off into my real life. I'll let you know how it works out.

I am semi "someone dropped a brick on my head when I was young" and I couldn't figure out how to change my url so some "real life" people couldn't find me, but Os sorted me all out just like he did my template a loooooong time ago and now I can come back after NINE months and not worry about my work or my exes finding me.

I forgot how to link you Os, but I am sure it will all come back to me, blogging is like riding a bike right?

YAAAAAAAAY!

I missed you effers.

E-whining to somebody I have known since grade 4 about my singleness and this is what he said (typed) :


"Robin,

I know there is nothing I can say to make you believe any differently, but take it from me, I have known you for a very long time...we have been friends....and at times I wished we could be more than just friends. You are a very beautiful person to me...and always have been....your luck will change...keep smiling and don't give up. If you ever want to talk or go for a drink you know where to find me. I am here for you Robin."


I am thinking of whining a lot more now.

He's married to an awesome chick, and they have two beautiful daughters, so if you were thinking I should date him that's not going to happen.

So I was at my parent's place last night, my brother and his girlfriend came to visit and I was going to go and get Charlie and bring him back for a sleepover party. I started my car and all of the sudden I smell something REALLY weird, and then it starts spewing out smoke from under the hood so I get out and start yelling "MY CAR IS ON FIRE!" and my brother's girlfriend looks and says "Yeah it is." Then my brother comes out and looks, same reaction. My dad comes out and doesn't look too concerned (the smoke is now slowing down). So I say to my dad "Has this ever happened to you?" and my dad says "Everything has happened to me." So anyway we decide that I should leave it to sit and take my mom's car to go get Charlie. So I do. I get back and we all go into the dining room (which overlooks the driveway) to have dinner. Half way through dinner (it's dark outside at this point) there is a HUGE explosion/flash. My mom says oh it must be one of the pot lights...and I am like, oh yeah crazy pot lights. Then my mom says we should make sure to turn them off. So after dinner I say to my dad "Make sure to turn those lights off" and he says "It's not a problem." Then flash forward a few hours and my dad is saying "I don't think that explosion was a pot light I think it was your car, but we didn't want to upset you."

I drove it home today without turning the headlights on (which have not been working and are obviously the reason for the electrical fire and explosion) and I made it home.

Something else to pay for...it never ends does it?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

So of course I looked up schizotypal and found this:

"characterized by a need for social isolation, odd behaviour and thinking, and often unconventional beliefs such as being convinced of having extra sensory abilities."

Okay A) I DO have E.S.P. and B) it's called "staying away from people who annoy me" not "social isolation". GAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWD.


What Personality Disorder Are You?

So I had a dream that Charlie (my dog) ran away and so I went running all over the neighbourhood trying to find him...I went to the park which was FULL of kids and started screaming CANDY!! CANDY!! CANDY!! (which was my dog when I was a kid.)

Screaming "candy" in a park at a bunch of kids gets you weird looks I realized in my dream. Then I went to someone's house (that I didn't know) to wait for word on Charlie (Candy). The woman (that I didn't know) asked me to move because she had to change so I moved out of her way and then she says "NO you are standing in front of my leg". So I look and see that she has a fake leg. She removes that fake leg and puts on her other fake leg that matches what she is wearing. And that's all I remember.

Aren't you glad I shared that with you?

More working.

More getting id'd.

More YouTubing.

More Big Brother obsessing and chatting on the live feeds with my new friends who are just as addicted.

More of my mother telling me to put vinegar on my faucets.

Yeah now you are all caught up with me...

How's it with you?

I'm back.

I went MIA for a while because I started a new job and I got the Big Brother live feeds.

I miss all of you though, so I thought I would come back. I mean how long does it take to post a picture of my dog, say a bunch of nothing and visit 50 blogs?

Well that last part can take some time but I will get there.

So you are going through somebody's photos on Facebook right?

Looking at their family and friends and all of their happy happy joy joy times.

And you think to yourself, that guy needs to invest in some Crest white strips, or that girl should really rethink that outfit, or that person should maybe not suck lemons immediately before a photo op.

But do you say that?

Of course you don't you pussies.

Oh yeah, neither do I.

Feeling really sad and sorry for myself.

Then I got i.d.'d

She looked at my i.d. and said "Wow, you've still got it."

That's right, the lady in the liquor thinks I still got it.

Or was she saying I am old?

Saying that REALLY annoys me number 6 million:

"AT THE END OF THE DAY 'blah blah blah'."

If you** say "AT THE END OF THE DAY" before a sentence you** probably think it makes you** sound so thoughtful and contemplative.

Well...

At the end of the day you** are still an idiot for using such a stupid expression.

At the end of the day some people are trying not to think about the day they just had because it SUCKED, so way to go reminding them about it.

At the end of the day if I hear one more cliche I am going to go postal on someone's ass fo shizzle.

**this is not "you", it's THE OTHERS.

Me: "I had a HUGE crush on you in high school."

(Yeah I had a few beers before I sent this gem out - but I really did have a huge crush on him)

Bob: "No way. What on earth did you have a crush on? Was it my sense of fashion or the bloodshot eyes? Come on...you're pullin' my leg. Where are you now and forgive me...the name is ringing bells but the animated picture is not really pulling it all together."

Me: "Ha ha! Yes way! I was friends with Lindsay (that's where I saw your name) and you lived on her street or nearby right? You were older and you talked to us, and you had puppy dog eyes. I'm in Toronto. (that's an internet lie folks, I told him where I actually am) Where are you?"

Bob: "I still don't believe you...well maybe sorta. The animation is a little daunting - guess I'm one to talk.

Facebook continues to be a really weird place."

Me: "I know totally."

(Can you believe I said "I KNOW TOTALLY" like some kind of valley girl? It's the Big Brother live feeds rubbing off on me I tell you, they say 'like' every 4 seconds. At least I didn't do that)


Me cont'd: "I remember you in your 'Barrie dinner jackets' and Kodiaks. Or that's what my memory is telling me."

(Yes this is how old I am, boys wore Kodiaks to school in my day. Also you can change Barrie for any hickish town nearby where you live)

Bob: "Dinner jackets - yes I did have a dinner jacket phase for a while didn't I, yup...I did. Had forgotten about those. Nice.

Alright then yes, you knew me and you are not just making it up."

Gotta love Facebook

I moved my dining room table out of the dining room and moved my computer in so I can watch the live Big Brother feeds and actually accomplish things like cooking, washing dishes and cleaning. Also it's nice to be out of the basement. I like my basement it's all finished and it's got a walk out to the backyard cuz I live in a backsplit, but I think it's probably good to get out of the basement for a while.
____________________

My parents have a Kildeer family in their front yard, I forgot to take pictures, but anyway if you get too close to the babies (that are now running around on the ground) the mother Kildeer runs AWAY from them making all sorts of noise and then puts her wing up like it's broken to entice you over to her and away from the babies because you are supposed to think she is injured, is this a run on sentence? Anyway I will get some video and pictures next time I am there. I bet you can't wait!
____________________

Have you ever seen somebody and you don't really know if you even know them but you hate them? Like maybe they were rude to you once and it wasn't so bad so you forgot kinda but when you see them you think I hate you and I have no idea why? Yeah I do too.

Dear fuckfaces,

Your selfish behaviour has been noted.

You suck beyond sucking.

I wouldn't walk across the street to help you out.

Actually that's a lie.

I would.

Still.

And it makes me mad at myself.

But have no fear, I will get tougher.

And you will have one less person you can rely on when you really need it.

Like Justin Timberlake says "What goes around comes back around".

Yeah I know he didn't say it first, but he says it the cutest.

So my employer has blocked Facebook which I don't really get 'cause if you have ever read the book The Tipping Point you will know that friends are very important business wise. They've never blocked Blogger which is silly, silly.
_____________

I know it's been said a million times but people that say "to be perfectly honest" or "in all honesty" are obviously liars. I mean I don't have to warn people every time I am going to say something honest because it usually is. Or bitchy. Same deal. Actually I keep my bitchy hidden in real life and asplode it into my blog for therapy. Mostly.
_____________

I am going to meet my first friend from YouTube today. It should be quite excellent. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be meeting people from the internet I wouldn't have believed it.

You know what made my day?

A 17 year old saying "Have a good one Miss!" at the store.

This is what makes old people happy.

This new "Mozilla Firefox tells me how to spell" is REALLY bugging me.

It is all American spelling.

I had NO idea how many words we spell differently until I got this little feature.

It will always be favour and humour and licence and zed.

Got it yanks?

Yeah yanks doesn't get underlined, that's a REAL word.

Oh wait, it is, like she yanks their chains.

Oh and while we are at it, Thanksgiving is in October.

Alright it's Big Brother tonight people!

And nothing says "I stay in my basement and don't have sex in the summer for a whole 3 months" like Big Brother.

Yeah, I'm working on it.

A woman asked to use my cell phone today while we were standing in a MALL. I don't know, maybe it's just me but that's weird. And it's not like I even had my cell phone out, she just asked if I had a phone so she could call her husband, no emergency, just wanted to call her husband.

My hair is actually okay today. I didn't get it styled or dried after it was cut yesterday and it was 5000 degrees out so it curled and poofed and I don't even have curly hair. So anyway today is much better. A girl I work with said my hair looked so good (she asked me if I coloured it, so the cut can't be too dramatic - just to me)

I did this thing on CNN dot com where they show you 4 videos of people in complete darkness walking and the only thing you can see is some lights that are attached all the way up their bodies. You have to figure out if it's a man or woman and if they are gay or straight. The researchers believe we can tell just by the way someone carries themselves.

I got FOUR OUT OF FOUR RIGHT.

You should try it, it's under health on the CNN website.

Researchers say this is further proof that gay is a gene, not a choice.

I got your proof right here researchers.

Do you think I would actually choose to like males if I sat down and really thought about it?

Uh no.

Kidding.

Sort of.

Who goes to Magicuts and says "Do whatever you think, you're the expert"?

Yeah me.

I have a little project for you.

ONLY if you have a dog.

Give your dog a bath.

After their bath towel dry.

Let them run around in your house for a bit.

They will do this anyway.

Just wait until they stop.

Then smell them.

Do they smell like Swiss Chalet to you?

That is it for me and quarter chicken dinners.

People that put re: in the subject line of an email.

I didn't send you anything so the email you are sending me FIRST is not re:

It is just a SUBJECT.

You create the subject and if I email back it is then RE: YOUR SUBJECT.

Continued rant from below.

You know those chicks that say "Girls/women just don't like me" ?

Yeah well it's not because you are hot (which I am SURE is what you think) it's because you are a bitch, so try getting over yourself and make some female friends.

So the oldest guy in the world is chalking his longevity up to not drinking. 114 years of not drinking? Sounds like he already died and went to hell but nobody told him.

Reasons to drink:

Those fucking imbeciles that brake 3 minutes before they signal. What is the point in signaling AFTER you have already come to a complete stop???? Maybe "Mr. I'm 114" doesn't drive.

Dealing with insurance companies. Do you guys just laugh and laugh to yourselves when you're mailing a claim back to somebody for the fifth time because you need more information? Do you have contests to see how many times you can send it back with NO MONEY before somebody shows up at your office with a bat? Do you not have phones? Cause I do and you could call me if you need to know something.

Celebrations, get togethers, money pooling for gifts for people who have NEVER and will NEVER celebrate me. Fuck yourself.

These new television shows where people are just NASTY and RUDE to the contestants or participants. When the hell did we decide that it was entertaining to watch some jerk ridicule people to the point of making them cry?

NOT FUNNY. STOP IT.

And on that subject how come every panel of "experts" is a 1 female to 2 male ratio?

Experts. Pffffffft.

Somehow I doubt that.

Nice package on a licence* plate

equals

Guy** who is too lame to find somebody to check it out.

Raymi we should start a tooliest licence plates contest.

And if you click on the pic you can see where this tool hails from, or at least where he buys his cars.

*yes that's how we spell it here in Canada

**yes I saw him

So my brother who is a HUGE Ottawa Senators fan and his lovely girlfriend went to game 3 of The Stanley Cup on Saturday night. And Ottawa won 5-3.

They ended up in the same section as the Prime Minister of Canada.

Not a bad Saturday night.

He's gonna kill me for posting his picture on the internet again.

GO SENS GO!!!!!

Life lessons from me to you...

Don't buy a $300.00 washing machine.
Don't eat nachos with cheese in your car.
Don't assume that the asshole who has his indicator on is actually going to turn.
Especially when you have cheese sauce with the lid off in your car.

And in other news...

I went to buy some food. I saw a rather unhappy looking guy. I walked past him. He turned around and said "SEE YA WHORE, SLUT, BITCH." I thought how weird. Then I saw a girl that worked there and she looked VERY uncomfortable. So I realized I was not who he was referring to as the whore, slut, bitch. Then I saw him PUNCH this guy behind the deli counter. Then I saw him throw something at the deli boy. Then a REALLY HUGE guy (like 6'5") that must have worked there came up and told the psycho to leave. Then the girl that looked uncomfortable started crying. Then I did my shopping. Then when I was leaving there were two cop cars and an ambulance outside. My jeebus.

You scored as One Intellectual Individual. You're a thinker. You see things from a very different perspective than the rest of the world, and probably find release and self-expression in music, painting, sculpting, or any other form of art. People see you as a deep person, full of knowledge that they don't understand. People are attracted to that, but there's a good chance you don't care.

One Intellectual Individual		100%
New Age Hippie		63%
Original Hippie		63%
Earth-Child		50%
Not a Hippie		25%
Pothead		13%

Today when I was driving to work a guy in a car beside me was blowing me kisses.

Nice way to start the day I'd say.

I guess it's all in how you look at it and how desperate you are for affection.

"NEW YEAR JACKPOT.

Sir/Madam,

We wish to inform you of the New Year direct selectlotto international promo under the auspice of Luckyday/Lotto Nl that your Email Address has won an Award sum of eight hundred thousand euros. Do contact the Agent/representative below for your Claim."

That's right bitches I won. Don't bother contacting me anymore.

Why are lawnmowers so loud? I mean seriously, can't we as a species come up with a way to cut a lawn that doesn't cause deafness? Also the trucks that beep when they back up? WE CAN HEAR THE TRUCK WITH THE HUGE ENGINE COMING TOWARDS US CAN'T WE? Who are the beeps for? Not deaf people. Not little kids because little kids would have no idea what the beeps meant and would be more likely to SEE the truck backing up towards them and move. And where the hell are their parents anyway?

Ha speaking of kids...I was walking in to a store yesterday, okay the liquor store, why must you always judge me? Anyway, this dude and his son were coming from the other direction and we all made it to the door at the same time. The kid walked in, then the dad and I looked at eachother and he said "After you." like the sweet gentlemanly type men that live in this area of the country always do (do they do it where you live? - It's AWESOME huh?) Anyway, I say "thank you", smile and walk in. The kid who was ahead of me hangs back at this point to wait for his dad, and as I walk away in a voice that was soft enough that he wasn't trying to let me hear the dad says to his son "Where was the little gentleman?"  Isn't that precious? They are raising a whole new generation of these dudes.

Moral: Life isn't all bad, except for the loud noises..

Something is wrong with my gum, where I had my tooth extracted, but two days ago when I went for my post-op check-up it was fine. Damn.

I talked to a couple of OLD friends tonight. We are going to get together. Yay.

Sometimes you don't answer the phone, that makes me sad. I hope when you need to talk somebody answers. Actually, my hurt makes me want you to feel the same thing I do, so I hope nobody is there to talk to you when you are lonely or scared, then you will know what it feels like.

Sad that I think that.

Had a tooth extracted. Tooth number 26. And then they drilled into my sinus cavity. Good times. But now I can go out and not be afraid to speak in someone's direction. The sound and feeling of a tooth coming out of your mouth is not the same as you remember as a little kid. It's louder, and much, much grosser. I can't even explain it. It's like a bad nightmare.

Oh and then last night I woke up and I was NOT breathing...I jumped up and started running around the room gasping for air like a goldfish out of water. Or I guess any kind of fish out of water. It was INSANE. I couldn't turn the lights out again afterwards because I was worried I would fall asleep and it would happen again. I think because the doctor told me to sleep with two pillows I inhaled spit while sleeping, you know when something goes down the wrong way? Yeah I think that happened while I was sleeping and then I woke up right at the gasping for air moment. SO freaky.

So anyway I fell back asleep eventually with the lights on like a little baby. Got up in the morning, all was well, or so I thought. Went to Tim Horton's to get a coffee before going to work and there were customers at both cashes so I waited in line. When one of the customers had finished and proceeded on with their coffee the cashier did not look at me or say "next", so for a 30 second period before the other cashier looked at me and said "What can I get you?" I thought I was actually dead from the not breathing incident.

I am SO not joking.

Also I spilled bleach all over my pants and my kitchen mat.

Dear Universe,

I think I am due for some good loving and boating karma now.

And now for your viewing pleasure (okay mostly mine) stolen from Momtheminx: