Yep

My hairdresser told me that one time a client came back after getting a perm to tell her that she wanted her money back because her husband said it gave her bad breath.

A friend of mine said if everything eventually breaks down why doesn't the microwave ever stay on when you open the door? And how scary would that be???

The security guard in my building told me that he saw his first robin of the season the other day. I said "oh yeah?" he said "Maybe that's why your mother named you Robin because you hop along like a little robin."
I had no idea that I hopped.

T.G.I.F.

Puddy Tat

Not that I have anything against speech impediments, but why do the people with this affliction all seem to go into broadcasting? What is the thought process? Hmmm...well, I don't speak vewy well, and a wot of people have a tough time understanding me so, I know, I'll talk for a wiving!!!
Very strange indeed. That reminds me, I've gotta get my portfolio together because I'm gonna be a model. The worlds shortest, chubbiest model.

It could happen.

Leave the Cookie Monster alone!!!

Kids today are not fat because of the Cookie Monster. Jeeeeeeezus. Why oh why do they have to mess with the Cookie Monster? Why don't we look at video games and processed foods? And while I'm on the topic...the violence that children are exposed to in movies and video games is insane. Naked = Bad. Guns = Good. Well that explains some stuff that's going on.
And on another note, somebody better lock Michael Jackson up soon or I'll go down there and tie up his pedophilic ass myself.

On the brink

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Not really sure how long they last, or what to do about it, but I think that is exactly what is happening to me. I thought I was just depressed. And yeah I might be a little young but this is apparently the early side of when it starts. Yay.

I hope I get i.d.'d again at least once more at the liquor store. I'll make my young scared face and see what happens.

Quotes

A funny one:

Janeane Garafolo (in a silly movie): "This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy."

...and from my horoscope today:

"Love one another but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

That's deep man.

Am not

29 % of bloggers are losers. Well it's not me, and I know it's not you, so who are these losers that are giving us a bad name?

No, I am not at work right now. (Okay maybe I am)

Link thanks to All Things Christie (and I'm not mentioning her because she gets a bazillion hits a day)

Peace out losers. I kid, I kid.

Jann Arden's Website

I love Jann Arden. I think she writes great songs, and her thoughts in her journal are very interesting to read.

I submitted something I wrote on my blog to her Fann Gallery and they posted it here (it's called Don't waste the pretty)

Now I am famous.

Shandy

Shandy came to visit me today and the first thing she did was poop on the floor. I consider this good luck, so I'm going to buy some lottery tickets.

She's a yorkie poo and I guess she takes it literally.

Poema dos

Running behind the pack
I don't want to chase
Seems there is but one way

Crush the spirit inside
Afraid to end that way
Search for reason

Changing course

Long haired freaky people

Ever wonder how people describe you when you're not around? I do. Say your friends or family lost you in a large crowd?? How would they describe you to strangers in order to track you down?



I think my description would have something to do with being really,really pale.

Happy Birthday Dad

What the?

I'm sure that Ann Coulter and Tucker Carlson don't speak for the majority of United Statesians...at least let's hope they don't because this is some pathetic commentary.

Link thanks to Robin's Random Rambles.

Blog Binders and other miscellany

Thank you Miss Explosive Laughter for finding this fun site. You can get your blog made into a book! I'm going to copy Heather and get one done for myself in August for my Blog Anniversary. How geeky is it to say Blog Anniversary? How geeky is it to capitalize Blog Anniversary!?!

Moving on...went for a most delicious brunch yesterday, it was awesome. Smoked salmon, eggs benedict, mussels, beef, ham, turkey, bacon, sausage, pasta, salads, veggies, desserts...and yes I ate almost every one of those things. I'd like to give a shout out to Tates for taking me!

Watched a bunch of movies: The Woodsman (creepy but good), Million Dollar Baby (I know almost everybody loved this movie, but I thought it was depressing and predictable), The Notebook (sweet, and I bawled like a baby), and finally Jersey Girl (FUNNY, and sweet)

Just my humble opinion, take it for what it's worth. :)

And finally for now, this guy doesn't have Tourettes, but he's crazy which makes him fun to watch. It's a time waster if you are bored on this Easter Monday.
Link thanks to All Things Christie.

Oh yeah, one more thing, on Saturday while shopping for some kind of meat for dinner, we came across an odd sight. A bunch of skinned rabbits. Who eats rabbit on or around Easter??? Crazy bunny eaters that's who.

Mars bars and insanity

I was listening to the radio today and heard that Mars has done a survey about how you eat your candy bar and what it says about your personality. Sure okay, sounds like a laugh. So this woman starts with describing the nibbler, the one who takes little tiny bites...they are apparently very particular people and picky eaters (and I'm sure all girls or gay guys).

Moving on...there are the people that take big bites and finish it rather quickly. These people are go getters. Okay, sure.

Then, there is my favourite group, though I have never seen them, or even heard of them until now, apparently they exist. Are you ready??? They eat a candy bar LIKE THIS:

First they suck off the whole top layer of chocolate (sounds messy!)...then they bite off all of the caramel down the entire length of the bar being careful not to eat any of the nougat centre(that's quite a skill!)...finally after licking off the remaining caramel, they eat the nougat centre by itself.

WTF?

The woman on the radio said this type of person likes to enjoy their flavours separately.

I say these people need to be under medical supervision.

Rosie O' Donnell Post

This is my attempt at poetry that sounds like Rosie's.

Monday is warm
on the skin
of my face

The face of a child
the mind of an old woman
Still

Still is the sound of the world
that I feel in my bones
As I shake like a leaf

Contradictions like those
That were once just memories
Memories of more

And when I think of the time
How it spins and weaves it's way
Through the hourglass

I feel peace
peace of mind and peace of sole (as in the fish)

How did I do? :)

Saturday night

I am going out...with my new bestfriend Janie. Have you ever met somebody and instantly they are your friend? Yep, that's Janie. Let's hope she doesn't turn out to be psycho.

I'll keep you posted.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The President of our company sent out this "funny" email this morning:

"Why did God invent whiskey?
To prevent the Irish from ruling the world!"

Do you think it's funny ha ha or funny peculiar?

Pretty pictures and sexy concoctions

Click here for recipes for drinks that will apparently "get you laid".

Link thanks to the always entertaining Bacon and Eh's.

Blogging Rules

Found this on Heather's (Explosive Laughter) blog:
Not sure what this list leaves as far as what to blog about.

"What are you going to blog about today Robin?"
"Whatever I want to blog about....GAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD."

Things are working better in Bloggerland

Finally! I can post, and comment on your blogs again! I was getting the DT's.

These are the things that have been pent up in me since I lost the ability to chat in cyberspace:

Type your name (or your company, website etc.) in Gizoogle because it's funizzle.

Rosie O'Donnell has a blog here and if you can figure out what she's talking about, let me know. Just kidding (kinda) but it is a little too poetic and cryptic for me. Hi Rosie!

Go visit Robin and ask her to post some pics so we can all get to know her a little better! :)

While you are at it...visit all of the people over there ----------->
because they have a lot of interesting stuff to say.

Also, does anybody know how to do an audio post? I have so much audio to share with my bloggy peeps.

And that John guy from The Apprentice has got to go...he is such an arrogant little twit. On that note, Donald Trump should go too, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon.

Other than that, the B52's still SUCK and winter better be over SOON.

Peace out.

Blogger is making me crazy

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Levi's song circa 1970 something

My brother and I used to travel around the neighbourhood singing this Levi's jingle to our neighbour's parents. We actually used to get requests!!

I'm going to ask him if he wants to go back to our old hood for a reunion tour. Here are the lyrics as best as I can remember them (I searched for them on Google but couldn't find them...but I'm pretty sure these are right):

Bought a pair of Levi's
They've really been around
I've taken them camping
And I've laid them on the ground

They've come with me to parties
And they've climbed up a tree
Oh they've been to school so often
They're nearly smart as me

And after years and years of wearing
My Levi's in and out
I couldn't help but notice
That the knee wore out

So I sewed on a patch
A flower here and there
And they looked so good again
I could take them anywhere

I'm using them as cutoffs now
And flying in the air
Oh I really think it's time
That I bought another pair

You can live in Levi's!! (YAH!) The YAH at the end is VERY important...it makes the whole song.

Anybody else remember this jingle?? You'd have to be over 30 and from Canada (or the States maybe...don't know)

Duct Cleaners

Phone rings...I don't check the number...

The girl says "Hi this is Ashley and I'm calling on behalf of Duct Masters, we specialize in cleaning home ducts"

I say "I don't have a home"

Ashley says "Okay thank-you, goodbye".

She should have maybe offered to send me some soup or a warm blanket doncha think?

Funny email message from my funny friend

Hey Binsk (that's me), are we in a fight? I didn't think that we were but I have not heard from you and last time I did you were kinda short. Let me know......that way I can catch up on thinking bitchy thoughts about you. It's only fair.
Simone

Short Lives

BEST. QUOTE. EVER.

...what are the odds that my house painter is using "coffee" as a euphemism for "cocaine," as in, "I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I'M TALKING SO FAST AND SCREAMING SO LOUD AND PACING LIKE THIS WITH PUPILS THE SIZE OF PINPRICKS BUT I'VE HAD A LOT OF ... COFFEE"?

How funny is she? Check her out @ Java Diva

Yes, I know how old I am...

But I still like to take these silly quizzes! The verdict: I am Sex on the Beach...sounds good. What does it mean? When it comes to drinking, I like it to go down smooth. I really don't like the taste of alcohol - just its effect on me. So, I'm proud to get drunk on fruity, girly drinks. Because once I'm liquored up, the fun begins! Yeah that sounds about right (except I love beer and that's never been too girly). Wanna be a silly kid and take this ridiculous quiz too? Click here.

Geocaching

This looks like so much fun! I want to play!

Link thanks to Laura @ The Artful Blogger

American Idol

Why oh why won't the producers tell these contestants to stop waving their fingers and silently mouthing the number to vote for them?!!? We see the effing number on the screen in big bold print, we hear Ryan Seacrest repeat the number TWICE. We do not need to see them wave their fingers with pleading puppy dog looks on their faces every week. It's enough to make me puke.

Crazy conversation

I went out last night and ran into some guy who tells me that he used to be in some field where he worked with famous people (media relations or something?). So I ask him who he's met. He rattles off a whole list of very cool people like Beyonce, Dr. Dre, Eminem (whom he called Marshall). I say, "Wow you met Eminem??" He says, "Oh me and Marshall are tight". Tight huh? Yeah. He says, "We talk on the phone all the time." I say jokingly, "Can you tell him I love him?". He says, "Well if you give me your number I can arrange a conference call for the three of us". Okay, I am not a babe in the woods so I am assuming that this might just be the most ridiculous way to get my phone number.

Really, how exactly is he planning to pull this off?? "Ummm...hi Robin it's me (the delusional man you met the other night) Marshall has been busy lately but do you want to go out for dinner, maybe he'll call my cell?" Yeah okay dude.

Moments in history

Copied from my internet buddy's site Explosive Laughter (see side bar) With my own answers.

You know the people of the past have always had their favourite stories about moments in history...like where they were when JFK died, where they were when 9/11 happened, stories like that. I thought I would make a list of my most memorable moments in my personal history.

Q-Where I was when 9/11 happened:

A-In my car listening to Howard Stern on the radio as he announced the first plane (which he and most people thought was pilot error) and then the second plane (which freaked him, and the entire planet out at that point I'm sure). Then when I got to work we sat out on the picnic benches on a beautiful sunny day and watched plane after plane come back to Pearson Airport in Toronto (my office was right by the airport) It was eerie.

Q-Where I was when Hunter S. Thompson killed himself:

A- I have no idea...not even really sure who he was. Is that bad?

Q- When I lost my virginity:

A- September 26th,1986 (yes, that long ago).

Q-What I did during the great mideast blackout of 2003:

A-I was at work, everything went out...after a while we all decided to go home, and as I drove out of the parking lot I realized that it wasn't just my building that was affected, this was a large scale problem...first thought...terrorism. Again, it was eerie. When I got home I sat in my car so I could listen to the radio.

Q- What other countries I have been to, as of February 25th, 2005:

A- The United States (many times) and Mexico.

Q- Where I first lived away from the parental units:

A- In a house that I rented with two of my friends (Ainsley and Carolyn) when I went to Brock University in St. Catharines, Ontario. It was on Russell Street.

Here are a couple of my additions to Heather's list:

Q- Where I was when the Toronto Blue Jays won the World Series for the first time in 1992:

A- At a pub in St. Catharines (wonder if Paul Bernardo was there too? Ugh.)

Q- Where I was the last time the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley cup:

A- Sadly, I was negative three years old.

Q- Where I was when I found out Kurt Cobain was dead:

A- In a coffee shop in Brampton, Ontario. I was on my way to take my final exam for my real estate license.

Do you have any to add to our list??

Have a nice Friday

Haven't got much to say today except:

I really think the B52's suck.
That goes double for The Tea Party.

Yep that's it for now.

Flashback

My parents cleaned their basement and gave me a box full of my crap, most of it audiotapes. Well it turns out the audiotapes are all of my answering machine messages from about 16 to 21 years of age. I completely forgot that I kept all of these...I thought it was a new disorder (I have messages on my call answer right now that I have saved and resaved for years.)

I am going to figure out how to post audio and post some of these messages. So if you've known me since then, you may hear yourself...and if you haven't I'm sure you will be amused by these teenage ramblings from the 80's.

I miss this ad

It never gets old. Click here

Matthew Good's Blog

Matthew Good (Canadian musician) is a blogger. And he linked me on his site. How cool is that?
Check him out here , maybe he'll link you too.

Thanks Matthew!

Link to Matthew's blog thanks to Heydere Heather, How's the Weather?

Lost all of my comments...

I switched to Haloscan and lost all of my old comments, which sucks because some of them were soooooooooo nice!! I did manage to salvage a few in the top posts.

I guess we'll just have to start over from here. At least now when you leave a comment with a happy/sad/mad face it will be all pretty and in colour.

The glass is half full.

So this is my first attempt. I think I'll name it Reflections...because that's what I am doing right now.

This is the view from my computer to the left. (But I did actually stand up to take it!)

My day so far...

You know when you get really upset or stressed? Well, sometimes it can suppress your immune system. And sometimes when your immune system is suppressed due to the above mentioned stress, your body can reactivate the chicken pox virus, and you get a big, red, really sore rash (shingles). And sometimes even though you are not contagious to the general population, you work with a pregnant woman, which isn't a problem unless she hasn't had chicken pox herself. So sometimes, you have to stay home from work for an indefinite period of time because she hasn't.

I'll let you know how my afternoon goes, gotta be better than the morning.