On the off chance that you three stupid chicks who came into the restaurant I work at tonight read this, (not that I know you, but it could happen) I have some advice for you:
Stop being so fucking high maintenance or somebody is going to kill you in your sleep.
High Maintenance Bitches: "Hi can we sit on the patio?"
Me: "Well it's really cold and windy, and it's closed, but you can if you want."
H.M.B.'s: "Well let's just check it out." (We all go outside)
H.M.B.'s: "Oh yeah you're right it's chilly." (Didn't you nimwits just come from outside through the front door???? Did you think the weather in the back of the restaurant was going to be COMPLETELY different???)
Back inside...I seat them in the dining room.
H.M.B.'s: "Can we sit up there?" (Pointing to the balcony, where I have to trudge up and down with platters of food etc.)
Me: "Sure if you'd like."
Up we go...
The princesses take their seats.
Me: "Would you like something to drink to start with?"
H.M.B. #1: "Yes I would like a glass of water with no ice and a slice of lemon."
H.M.B.'s #2 and #3: "Me too, me too."
Me: "And would you like wine?"
H.M.B.'s: "Yes we will have a bottle of the shiraz."
Me: "Okay."
Up and down two flights of stairs, princess number one tests the wine.
(Cue oooooohing and ahhhhing and mouth swishing. How fucking gay. It's a regular bottle of wine not a $300.00 vintage.)
Now they order.
H.M.B.'s: "Can we have nothing that's on the menu and everything on the side?" (okay they didn't say that, but they might as well have.)
Me: "Sure."
More irritating essy type talking. You know, when those princess type girls say their esses like a hissing snake? UNGH, as Raymi would say.
End of meal...
H.M.B.'s: "Can we all have decaf coffees? Oh and we have this coupon."
Finally it comes time to pay.
They all pay separately and tip me like EIGHT percent.
All I can say is if you are one of these women please STOP IT, you are giving us all a bad name.
Oh, and I am also SO glad I am a straight girl and I don't have to date asshat women like you.
21 comments:
Haha, I like how you abbreviated "H.M.B." I guess I'm an 'asshat', since I like being a Woman...
Trust me, there are guys just like that too.
Man, that sucks. You work your ass off for 8%?
M~
I'm in no way saying all women are like this, just a particular breed that I would like to avoid entirely.
what iss with all theees ssservice people acting like we give a shit what they think of ussss... if we didnt ssspend our money there you'd be out of a fuckin job
okay, so at the risk of being completely unpolitically correct...what's an appropriate tip for when you've received satisfactory service? i know nothing...
Your feed is set to 'full' girl, don't worry!
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mtiplesstax.html
(it says it's for the U.S. but it works the same here)
Good Lord, don't they realize that acting like that is going to make you want to spit in their iceless waters? Or worse... :)
Ohh man I feel ur pain. I worked as a server and prob served these same H.M.B...I wanted to take my pretty little hand and backhand their whiny faces...and the bad tip?! Shame on their needy slag whore asses!
Haha, you said asshat. I don't leave a tip based on the price of the meal. I think that if the waiter/waitress did a get job they should get a certain amount wether I ordered a six dollar meal or a twenty dollar meal. Why pay them less for the same amount of work just because I ordered a cheap meal?
how do u not say snarky things to them?
Too funny, binsk - though I'd imagine that it was much funnier to read than to have to live through.
You had me at "Didn't you nimwits just come from outside through the front door?"
The whole entry is priceless, fricking priceless! That's the best laugh I've had all day!
Thanks, Hon...
I just watched the movie "Waiting" the other night..you have got to see it! You will definately appriciate it! I think they need some extra garlic salt...hehehe
You know ... just one simple shove as they were walking down the stairs and problem solved. Whatta bunch of snots! You did spit in their water didn't you? ;0)
TG
you poor thing. stories like that make me so glad i can put people on hold for as long as i want and there's nothing they can do about it. ha!
I'm with Raymi on this one. How in the world do you keep your cool? Especially after the 8 percent tip? I would be throwing plates down the stairs after them and screaming "tip THIS, you bitches!"
And then I would be SO fired.
aw! what the hell happened to MY comment? i left a long one tellingof my scandals and pet peaves as a matre dee (sp?). damn it! its too long to retype. i hate it when that happens!
ok,last post,kinda bitchy,but this whole service industry backlash thing has gone tooo far... yes, you work with the public,yes, you've lived long enough to realize people arent all the same... yes, people can be rude and shall we say , oh fuck it, most people are like retarded jackasses, stubborn and pigheaded...if they have money or are at all attractive its worse but really its best to let it roll off your back...i dont know why i backtracked to further discuss this...i'll explain this... i have been in the service industry for 15 years, since i was 15 actually, i have been trained at 5 star hotels and trained many,countless many others, i live in vancouver and make a hell of a living, i serve food and bevs for chrissakes and i easily clear $3500,working 16 days a month... in tips! not my wages...and i get some pretty mean people in my happy bubble daily,you're a sweet kid...it's a shame that you have to deal with assholes without a degree in proctology but at the end of the day, its the end of the day... for what its worth ;)
best regards, nice info » »
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