Thursday, June 29, 2006

I don't know who the hell you think you are talking to me like that. Didn't anyone ever teach you that screaming at the top of your lungs is no way to deal with people? And your little apology, along with the "I didn't mean it personally" garbage were too little, too late.

Take your fucking attitude and shove it. You have been officially written off. And I don't care that you may have acted that way because your girlfriend dumped you. Why wouldn't she? You are a 35 year old alcoholic chef with bad teeth. I've never met her but I'm sure she could do better.

Love Binsk.

The glossary of truth
I am not going down without a fight.

In other news...well there really isn't any other news. That could be why I am so concerned about internet popularity contests. Maybe I need something to do. I guess I should go line dancing tonight.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I'm on 25 Peeps dot com today.

You can go there and click on my picture if you want.

Edit Monday 10:30 p.m.: I'm losing to the boobs.

Edit TUESDAY 9:19 p.m.: The "boobs" that I am losing to are actually a MAN'S ass.

See here.

Little sneaky dude. And it gets lamer than that...I didn't read the post when I clicked on the boobs picture...I just read the first comment by a girl named Robin and thought that the boobs belonged to her...I am so lame.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Monday, June 19, 2006

Instead of shooting people in the back of the head with my pretend hand gun I have come up with a new solution.

I give them a reason for their bad behaviour.

If I hold the door open for some idiot and they don't say thank you, or even smile at me, I say to myself "That guy must have been dropped on his head at birth, poor fellow."

Or if some halfwit cuts me off in traffic, I just breathe and think "Well obviously she has her head up her ass because her husband just left her for a man."

See? Stress be gone.
She was robbed and has no content insurance. Some nice bloggers have set up a website to help her out. Any little bit will help. They even took her bathmats.
To the lady who called me yesterday and left a message on my answering machine telling me that you had the wrong're funny.
Hello? Is this thing on?

What I learned tonight...

Boy Scouts are nerdy and so are their parents.

Never assume you will have time to make it to the beer store.

Yeah that's all I learned tonight.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

You’re a steamy kisser! Your hot and heavy kissing style can turn even the meekest of make-outs into a full-contact sport. You keep the object of your affection afire by grabbing and holding on tight—then steaming up the windows.

Yes that's right, I am.

Your sexiest quality is that you don’t care if you have one—or at least whether your date thinks you do. Individual and strong, you attract others by doing your own thing with confidence.

Yeah fuck you date guy I don't care. I think.

You’re Icy Hot. “Enigmatic,” “aloof,” and “intimidating” are words that may sometimes be used to describe you. But that’s only because you keep your fiery, passionate side hidden, and you allow only a select few to...

Yeah that's all I got unless I registered, which is not going to happen. If you would like to take a bunch of tests and get half of the results click here

Happy Father's Day to the best father that ever was or ever will be. I'm serious, I got lucky huh? I must have done something good in a past life.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

This is Rick Mercer:

I met him today.

If you don't know who he is, then I am guessing you aren't Canadian. He's one of our non-Americanized celebrities.

He was the keynote speaker today at a conference I went to, and he was funnier than anybody has ever been funny.

I got my picture taken with him, on my camera phone, because I didn't have my regular camera with me which you'll just have to trust me or come over to my house and look at the pictures in my cell phone.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday

It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And a little half-nekkid puppy for good measure...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

On the off chance that you three stupid chicks who came into the restaurant I work at tonight read this, (not that I know you, but it could happen) I have some advice for you:

Stop being so fucking high maintenance or somebody is going to kill you in your sleep.

High Maintenance Bitches: "Hi can we sit on the patio?"

Me: "Well it's really cold and windy, and it's closed, but you can if you want."

H.M.B.'s: "Well let's just check it out." (We all go outside)

H.M.B.'s: "Oh yeah you're right it's chilly." (Didn't you nimwits just come from outside through the front door???? Did you think the weather in the back of the restaurant was going to be COMPLETELY different???)

Back inside...I seat them in the dining room.

H.M.B.'s: "Can we sit up there?" (Pointing to the balcony, where I have to trudge up and down with platters of food etc.)

Me: "Sure if you'd like."

Up we go...

The princesses take their seats.

Me: "Would you like something to drink to start with?"

H.M.B. #1: "Yes I would like a glass of water with no ice and a slice of lemon."

H.M.B.'s #2 and #3: "Me too, me too."

Me: "And would you like wine?"

H.M.B.'s: "Yes we will have a bottle of the shiraz."

Me: "Okay."

Up and down two flights of stairs, princess number one tests the wine.

(Cue oooooohing and ahhhhing and mouth swishing. How fucking gay. It's a regular bottle of wine not a $300.00 vintage.)

Now they order.

H.M.B.'s: "Can we have nothing that's on the menu and everything on the side?" (okay they didn't say that, but they might as well have.)

Me: "Sure."

More irritating essy type talking. You know, when those princess type girls say their esses like a hissing snake? UNGH, as Raymi would say.

End of meal...

H.M.B.'s: "Can we all have decaf coffees? Oh and we have this coupon."

Finally it comes time to pay.

They all pay separately and tip me like EIGHT percent.

All I can say is if you are one of these women please STOP IT, you are giving us all a bad name.

Oh, and I am also SO glad I am a straight girl and I don't have to date asshat women like you.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Speaking of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, I can't believe my parents didn't get 4 million for a picture of me when I was born, I mean, I was pretty cute.

Okay I looked a little like a baby chimp. Gawd, why must you be so judgemental???
If I were any more broke I would be living under a bridge. Actually I would be richer if I lived under a bridge because every company and government body in the free world wouldn't be able to send me bills. I need a third job. Any ideas?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

It's my name day!!!

Rather than presents and cake, I would like cash and cheeseburgers. Thanks in advance.

Name Day Chart

Thursday, June 01, 2006

My dog likes to pee in the neighbour's yard...there is no fence between the two, and he is on a leash, but he still manages to get a couple of paws over there, which is too cute. He's like "Yeah I'm not messing up MY yard...this must be where I should go mon." (He's from the Bahamas so he talks like that.) If I were my neighbour I would sit silently in my house and curse me. But don't worry because my new and AWESOME way of cleaning the lawn is to power spray the dog mess into the ground. It's like magic.

I wouldn't picnic on it or anything though.
I stole this from Raymi, because I had to.