You're Just a Three
Dressed up as a Nine

Is it possible to choke on a popsicle?

Please pick up your feet when you are walking...the constant scuffing sound on the ground makes a lot of us want to beat you with your shoes.

I am on the C list of Blogebrity. I wonder who I have to sleep with to get to the A list. I kid, I kid.

Got a pedicure.
Saw a shark at the beach.

Don't you hate those people that are so stupid they think they're smart?

You know, they use big words and they talk about how other people just don't have a clue?

I'm not talking about retarded people because that would be politically incorrect. I'm talking about the people just north of retarded.

And you can't tell them that they are morons, because they wouldn't understand.

So you just smile, and walk away? Yeah those people.

You don't know who you are.

I just saw a Five Alive commercial where they are slamming this guy's fingers in a drawer and underneath it says do not attempt this it may cause injury. Who needs this kind of warning? Who, tell me???

You know, like the coffee cups that now have to say caution contents is hot and may scald you. No shit, it's made with boiling water.

I know what it is, it's this damn litigious society.
I like that word. Back to Clara's blog.

It's Half Nekkid Thursday Again and Here's What We Do...

We all get half naked, take a picture, and post it.
Check it out here.

This week my belly is on the way
to a masquerade ball.

New hobby...inspired by people like Corinna and Astrid.
This is a photo of one of my first charcoal drawings.

And tomorrow is Half Nekkid Thursday...and I'm all set! Again it's Corinna's fault!

Dreams that feel so real
make me feel whole
then tear me apart again

Robin Alexa 2015

Another story from funny boy.

He's playing pool with this other guy.
Other guy is shooting and calls the shot.
Other guy says "Chain reaction."
Funny boy says "What the fuck is chain reaction??"
Other guy says "I'm going to hit that ball and it is going to hit some of those other balls and my ball will go in the pocket."
Funny boy says "So a bunch of shit's going to happen and your ball's going to go in?"

Silly other guy.

I saw this boat the other day and had to share it because it is one of the coolest boat names I've seen. The boat's not bad either.

Somebody told me today that he thinks the reason I have a thing for Johnny Depp is because I have similar features. I guess there are a lot of girls that look like Brad Pitt too then. Or maybe he's telling me I look like a guy.



In other news, thanks for all of your nice comments on my half naked photo for Half Nekkid Thursday...I'm already thinking of my next shot.

Have a great night...naked or not.

Half Nekkid Thursday

There's another blog that you might want to check out. We all get half naked on Thursdays, take a picture, and post it. Check it out here.

Here's my first contribution

I was watching a movie last night (10 things I hate about you) and one of the actor's middle names was Chill. I can't think of a better middle name than Chill.

I would also like Heath Ledger or some other guy to break into a stadium and sing me a love song , I'm such a sap.

I was talking to somebody the other day who said he is allergic to fajitas.
I said "It must be one of the ingredients, not the whole fajita" and he said "No I'm allergic to fajitas."
That's a funny allergy...but I wouldn't want to have it.

Art project

My eyes open is a blog with pictures of what people see as soon as they open their eyes. I sent one today...it's not staged at all, it is the exact thing I saw when I opened my eyes.

Why are there sliding mirror doors propped up against a wall with a pink boa on top you say? Ummm...well...the rest of my decor is much nicer.

Send your photos of what you see when you first open your eyes too. It's fun. All the cool kids are doing it.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

The town I live in was nice enough to set off thousands of dollars worth of fireworks right outside my window. It was like my own personal fireworks display.

Also the "Fraud Squad" from my bank called me to say that my bank card had been compromised. Lucky card.

Obviously I have nothing to say lately thus the stupid pictures. Or maybe it is that I have so much going on in my mind that it may explode if I don't get it out. I think I'll spare you all of the drama and write it down in one of those old fashioned journal thingies.

Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie

You like my Polaroid picture?

Wanna make Polaroids of your pictures? Go here

Link thanks to Bacon and Ehs.

I miss the man you are when you are with him.

"If you are hurt in small doses on a constant basis you will never suffer a fatal blow"

I actually got up out of bed last night to write this thought down.

Feel free to use it at all of your depressing get togethers and mass suicides.

I got nothing.
So here's a silly quiz.

This is me:

You are Carrie. Cute, quirky and intelligent, men
find it so easy to fall in love with you but
things always seem to end in tears. You're a
commitment-phobe and you find it really hard to
get over your exes. Your dress sense is to die
for and you blow most of your money on clothes,
shoes and cocktails. Gay men love you.

And you can find out who you are here.

Quiz thanks to Zuzula.

I would love to know what that's supposed to mean.

That's right, you heard me.

In England some potato lovers are trying to get the word couch-potato out of the dictionary because it is derogatory to potatoes. I put in a call to make sure there weren't any couch-binsks in their dictionary either, and I'm happy to report they didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

Also, I sleep weird. I wake up lying on my back with my legs crossed and propped up. It's like I'm sitting at a table and I've fallen over backwards.

Went out to a restaurant by myself (I do that a lot)

There was an old man eating lunch with a younger lady.

He said to her "How old am I?"

She said "You are ninety three"

He couldn't hear her so she kept getting louder

"NINETY THREE, NINETY THREE..."

He still didn't understand so she pulled out a pen, wrote it down and passed it to him.

He said "I'm ninety three???"

"Yes dad, that's how old you are."

When I finished eating I went to get my dad a card for Father's Day. I started reading the cards and then I started BAWLING(I do that a lot too) so I left Shopper's regained my composure and went to Hallmark. I got him a cute little card with a cat on it, maybe it's a little girly for a dad.

It's just like a bikini, but it's a hand...and no I don't know whose hand it is, but that ring and that camera look familiar.

Virtual Tea Leaf Reading

Click here to have your tea leaves read.

Link thanks to Want Peace.

Touch of Grey

God that's a good song.
God Bacon on the run (Lisa) is a cool chick.
God I'm glad the humidity has dropped.
God I wish I believed a little more in you.
God I hope you don't take that personally.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm...

Maybe it's just me, but I think Tom Cruise is a freak.
I know, I should get out more often, yes.
But I was flipping channels tonight and I saw Tom Cruise being a big freak, pretending that he is dating Katie Holmes (I think that's her name) anyway... in my opinion they are SO not dating, and anybody that's been in a relationship, or taken a psychology course, can see that right?

*** www.freekatie.net *** Thanks Funky Bug for telling me about this site.

The Surreal Life

Season 4 of the Surreal Life is over.
And that makes me really sad.

And that makes me really sad.

Marcus Schenkenberg is the sweetest of all sweetness and so hot.
Peter Brady is also delicious.

The end.

Goofy Mirror Faces

*photo removed because it was scaring me this morning*

This is my goofy mirror face.

I know you have one too.

What?

You don't know what I'm talking about?

Yes you do...it's that face you make in the mirror when you are finished getting ready to go out and you think you look fine....or the face you make when you are trying on new clothes at the mall.

Anyway, if you wanna play in my goofy little mirror face sandbox send me a picture.

I promise I won't sell it to the Ford modelling agency or anything.

I am hypnotized click here to see why

Oh and check out my pictures down below and let me know if you like them.

When I grow up I wanna be a photographer or a caterpillar.

Link stolen from my buddy and fellow whore MCG.

Beautiful Limehouse

Went to see my parents tonight. How gorgeous are my mom's flowers and stuff?
Froggy guy is apparently pretty rare...and totally cool doncha think?

Yes nature heals. I need a yard.

'Baby on Board' stickers say to me "please plow into the back of my car because I am a tool."

Dear Bloggy peeps,

I need to find a job where I don't have to talk to morons...and since the moronic percentile seems to be so high in the general population (not you guys of course) I think I need to work alone, away from the eejets, with no phone calls. Emails would be acceptable though. Does anybody know how I can make a living doing this? I mean, I like to pick who I talk to, not be forced to communicate with primates. And I pick all of you (because you are so obviously not the moronic majority) to help me with my little problem.

Also, why do most of the people that drive on the 403 drive like their heads are up their asses? I see their heads, but I'm thinking maybe they have two...the real one which is up their ass and a fake one on top of their fat neck.

Wild eyed woman we'll call Wilma

W.E.W.W.C.W.: "Excuse ma'am dah glo fao dddddaaaa gloe ttada blah?"

Me: "What?" (I normally say pardon me...but I was a little shocked)

W.E.W.W.C.W.: "Dat glon raat ploe taada voer blah?"

Me: "No."

She seemed to be okay with that answer and I walked away.
I wonder what I said no to?

Gah

30 degrees (90ish fahrenheit) is not, I repeat not, a beautiful day. Stop telling me it is. It's only beautiful if you are sitting in an ocean drinking frozen cocktails or you're a camel.

Hey Pizza Pizza, the "must be legal eating age" joke you use at the end of your new ads is not funny. Shut up.

Apparently we are having a heat wave. And apparently this summer 1000 people in our city will die from heat related problems. I'm betting it'll be all nice people and the assholes will still be hanging on strong in the fall.

Tomorrow is my name day

See?
That doesn't leave very much shopping time now does it? So go!!


I would like to also wish Ms. Funky Bug, Ms. Random Rambles and Mr. Poop, a good name day tomorrow too.

My brakes aren't working

Cars in dreams almost always are symbols of ourselves, and the direction we are headed in our lives. If you dream that your brakes don’t work, it usually means there is an area of your life that you feel is “out of control.”
If you can remember more details about your dream, it will help you to identify the area you are having trouble with. For example, if the car is a car that you drive every day, then the dream suggests you are experiencing difficulty in your personal life. You may be having difficulty controlling some of your personal habits - drugs, alcohol, relationships - and feel that you “can’t stop.” If the car was an old “family car” that you remember from growing up, this suggests that you feel out of control with some of your family relations. If the car belongs to a friend or friends of yours - the dream may indicate that you feel uncertain or unsure of yourself when you are around these people. If someone else is a passenger in the car with you, then you may feel that this person is leading you down a bad path - and you feel you can’t stop.
“No Brakes!” is one of the most important of all “warning” dreams. Once you figure out what this dream is about, make a conscious effort to get better control of your emotions - in whatever specific situation is indicated. If you don’t - your emotions will continue to control you - like a car without brakes!

Now I'm off to Google a dog wrapped in plastic bags and rubberbands.
That can't be good either.

What's so civil about war anyway?

Cutting in front of someone in traffic and then giving them "the wave" is like smacking someone in the face and saying "thank-you."


Salty index: high.

Cool bloggy peeps

Go compliment the complimenting commenter.
Also, go check out Lisa's husband's package.

My D.N.A. Revealed

Hair
Straight – 80 %
Wavy – 20 %
Texture – 80 % fine, 20 % not so fine

Brown – 90 %
Red – 8 %
Blonde – 2 %

Skin colour
Pigment – 10 % opaque, 90 % see through
Freckles – 5 %

Build
Boobs – 100 % big
Nipples – 100 % pink
Shoulders – 50 % girly, 50 % linebacker
Height – 5’6 and ¾
Tongue rolling – 100 %
Feet – 100% model material

Disposition
Sunny - 75%
Learn how to drive your car - 20%
Stop being so fucking stupid - 5%

Personality
Sweet – 90 %
Salty – 10 %

Cool – 75 %
Dorky – 25 %

Gullible – 50 %
Paranoid – 30 %, After ingesting cannabis - 125 %

Note:
This is just a segment of the very expensive test I had done...I may post more later. However, I can't publish my entire D.N.A. results because I don't want anybody trying to clone me. Nobody needs that.