Hell's Kitchen

Have you seen this ridiculous show?

I saw a few minutes of it before I had to change the channel. What kind of person finds this entertaining? This idiot chef is belittling everybody in his path and they are not only taking it, but being completely respectful back to him.

I worked in restaurants for a long time and I really, really don't understand why chefs think they are up there with brain surgeons and rocket scientists. You fucking cook things, get over yourselves.

Specialness

I know that's not a word.

Anyway...I don't have it. I don't think I have anything that makes people say "Robin's really good at that, let's ask her." I can, however, think of something (or several things) that most of the people I know do so well that I would ask them to help me with it, or their opinion of it. It's part of their identity you know? Do you know what your specialness is?

Birthday Party

Going to a birthday party tonight. Happy birthday Lisa.

Missed Christie's birthday/going away party last night! I'm sorry Christie, I meant to come...but it didn't work out.

Have a great Saturday night all.

Whistling

You wanna know why there aren't whistling concerts? Best selling artists on the whistling chart? Whistling teachers? Contests to find the best whistler in the country?

Because nobody wants to hear whistling. It's annoying.

Jughead with Archie

So I'm going pee. And I see the magazines on the back of my toliet that are there for people that poo (I don't, but I leave them there for visitors that do) and I find a Jughead with Archie Digest.

Archie and Jughead are driving in a shiny red Mustang convertible, with beautiful fall leaves falling everywhere. Jughead says to Archie in the little bubble coming from his mouth "Face it Archie! Summer's over!" And the little bubble over Archie's head says "Bite my ass!"

Archie's bubble has obviously been tampered with...I can see the liquid paper and the ball point pen.

I would like to know:

A) How an Archie comic book ended up in my bathroom???

and

B) Who would take such an innocent comic and make it so nasty???

Fess up!!!

Is that how you spell fess?

Anyway...you know who you are.

Funny things said on the weekend:

"That's it you quit???"
"Tell me about it, I only got ten strokes out of this one"
___________________________

"Where do you think I got that from?"
"The side of the road, or a chick you had sex with"
(I was right b.t.w.)
___________________________

"How much do you want for these?"
(holding up 4 styrofoam cups)
"How much do you want to pay?"
"Fifty cents"
"Okay, give me twenty-five cents"
(What a deal for our beer hiding cups for the TOTAL ALCOHOL BAN)
____________________________

"Damn, I burnt it"
"Oh?"
"Yeah but it's okay you just pull off the top three quarters and eat the succulent middle part"
____________________________

"Do you do that a lot?"
"No today just felt like a hand biting day"
____________________________

As promised, more pictures of my feet!
With all this excitement how can you sleep at night?

Happy Birthday Mitchie...

I tried...I really did.

I planned on sending you some lovely flowers today for your birthday just like the ones you sent me for mine, but it just didn't work out.

I get up this morning to find my internet is not working, so I shut down the computer and try again. Nope. I leave it for a while and come back. Still down. So after another hour or so of waiting and checking I call Bell, and they inform me that I have been cut off for non payment. I say that's not possible it's supposed to come off of my credit card every month. They say that my credit card has expired. Well yeah, but they sent me a new one with the same number. They say but the new expiry date is what we need. Okay, so I give them the new expiry date and they put my internet back on. Phew.

Then I order the flowers. Some time later I receive a call from an FTD woman in the States telling me that 2 p.m. is the cut off for today's delivery...it's 2:03 p.m. and I ordered the flowers waaaaaaay before 2. So I say okay well it's her birthday today so if you could cancel my order I will find someone who can deliver them today. She says okay I will refund your credit card now. Cool. So I phone Canada Flowers and a lovely lady named Audrey answers and says she will check to see if she can squeeze in my order for today's delivery....holding...holding...Audrey's back and yes, she can deliver the flowers today!! Yayyyy...I just have to go online and fill out the same information all over again and she will put it through. I place the order. 1o minutes later the phone rings again, it's Audrey. My credit card won't go through, and of course time is ticking for the flowers to be sent today. She verifies my credit card number and expiry date. Yep that's what she has but it's been declined twice. Well that's not possible I say, because there should be plenty of room on my credit card. But what can Audrey do?? She tried. So I thank her very much for trying and hang up.

Twenty minutes later my credit card company calls to verify some activity on my account. Ohhhhhhhhh...so they wouldn't let my second payment go through because they thought it was suspicious, not because I didn't have any room on my card. Great, thanks. And according to them the first flower place has still not refunded my money. So maybe you will end up with flowers in the end...but not on your birthday. Sorry Mitchie! I hope you have a good birthday anyway.
I'll make it up to you when we get together to celebrate in June.

Lesson for today: Don't leave things to the last minute, especially when there are other people and computers involved.

Muskoka bound

Going up north tomorrow for the long weekend, to a cottage that I have never been to before. Should be fun...but I've said that before.

I'll keep you posted and maybe I'll take some more stupid pictures of my feet. I bet you can't wait.

My prediction

Bo Bice will win American Idol and long hair will come back in style for guys.

Me in the lobby looking oh so sour. I'm not really angry. I'm just taking pictures of myself and trying not to do one of my goofy, double chin smiles...instead I look like a killer.
It's awesome to sit in a beach chair on the Gulf of Mexico drinking pina coladas, listening to the sound of the ocean and relaxing, but after a while you can get a little bored and start taking pictures of your feet.
Check out the pink and green in the sky. How effing awesome is that??? I have never seen a sky like this in my life. Maybe I should get out more.
Somehow this bunny snuck into our room one afternoon while we were at the beach. Cute little guy isn't he? Sneaky, but cute.
And back to a chair, this time it's a pool chair. And I am wearing my pretty sarong because I am oh so tropical.

To answer some of your questions...it was beautiful and so hot (especially for my lily white skin). The staff at the resort were a lot of fun and very entertaining. I went with a friend of mine, not a guy, so there was no sexy playtime involved...and I'm not really a vacation fling type girl so there was no sexy playtime with strangers either. Sorry I'm so boring, next time I'll make something up or be a little sluttier.

Also, why in hell's name do planes creak?? If my car sounded like the plane I was in on the way back I would take it into the shop...and I don't go 300 miles per hour in my car...often.

Hola

Random thoughts about my trip to the Riviera Maya...

I am translucent.
I am tall.
I am overfed.
I am spoiled (however, there are others that are much, much more so.)
I need to visit the ocean more often.
Bikinis are the only kind of bathing suit I will ever wear again.
I need to go to the gym.
I need to go to the gym.

I will post pictures when I get home tonight! Peace out B.P.'s

Have a nice week...

Table for two of my personalities

So my dad and I go out for lunch today to an awesome little seafood restaurant in the hood. Half way through our lunch a woman with a very short haircut comes in and sits alone. Which is fine...until she starts having a conversation. But she is not holding a phone to her ear (the one we can't see). Now I've been known to talk to myself but not with pauses and nodding like there is 'somebody' responding. So my dad says "I hope that woman is on the phone" and I say "Yeah, I guess she has one of those earpiece things in her left ear, but it looks really weird from here, like she is having a conversation with the voices in her head" Anyway, we finish our lunch and walk out past the lady (and her left ear) and to our surprise and horror (not really horror but it makes the story better) there was no earpiece, no phone, just her left ear...maybe I should set her up with the guy I ran into in the elevator yesterday (see below).

And no, I am not making any of this up.

Living well with psychosis

If your doctor gives you a little booklet to take home with the above title you should probably fold it in half or roll it up and put it in your pocket while you are waiting for the elevator because otherwise you are just freaking the rest of us out.

Gwen Stefani is very hot and smart and cool.
Gwen Stefani is older than me.
Gwen Stefani has a very delicious husband.

Shania Twain is very hot and Canadian and strong.
Shania Twain is older than me.
Shania's husband is very rich.

Martha Stewart is talented and strong and is wearing an ankle bracelet.
Martha Stewart is older than me.
Martha Stewart could buy and sell your ass.

These are my mentors.

How gay is your blog/website?

Would you like to know where you fit in? Check it out here

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Link thanks to Bacon and Ehs.

Wow! I feel so honoured, like thanks.

Memphis Steve did my horoscope for me on his blog. I didn't know I was going to get my own post I thought he would just email me something.

Funny stuff