Sunday, May 27, 2007

Life lessons from me to you...

Don't buy a $300.00 washing machine.
Don't eat nachos with cheese in your car.
Don't assume that the asshole who has his indicator on is actually going to turn.
Especially when you have cheese sauce with the lid off in your car.

And in other news...

I went to buy some food. I saw a rather unhappy looking guy. I walked past him. He turned around and said "SEE YA WHORE, SLUT, BITCH." I thought how weird. Then I saw a girl that worked there and she looked VERY uncomfortable. So I realized I was not who he was referring to as the whore, slut, bitch. Then I saw him PUNCH this guy behind the deli counter. Then I saw him throw something at the deli boy. Then a REALLY HUGE guy (like 6'5") that must have worked there came up and told the psycho to leave. Then the girl that looked uncomfortable started crying. Then I did my shopping. Then when I was leaving there were two cop cars and an ambulance outside. My jeebus.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

You scored as One Intellectual Individual. You're a thinker. You see things from a very different perspective than the rest of the world, and probably find release and self-expression in music, painting, sculpting, or any other form of art. People see you as a deep person, full of knowledge that they don't understand. People are attracted to that, but there's a good chance you don't care.

One Intellectual Individual

100%
New Age Hippie

63%
Original Hippie

63%
Earth-Child

50%
Not a Hippie

25%
Pothead

13%

Friday, May 18, 2007

Today when I was driving to work a guy in a car beside me was blowing me kisses.

Nice way to start the day I'd say.

I guess it's all in how you look at it and how desperate you are for affection.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

"NEW YEAR JACKPOT.

Sir/Madam,

We wish to inform you of the New Year direct selectlotto international promo under the auspice of Luckyday/Lotto Nl that your Email Address has won an Award sum of eight hundred thousand euros. Do contact the Agent/representative below for your Claim."

That's right bitches I won. Don't bother contacting me anymore.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Why are lawnmowers so loud? I mean seriously, can't we as a species come up with a way to cut a lawn that doesn't cause deafness? Also the trucks that beep when they back up? WE CAN HEAR THE TRUCK WITH THE HUGE ENGINE COMING TOWARDS US CAN'T WE? Who are the beeps for? Not deaf people. Not little kids because little kids would have no idea what the beeps meant and would be more likely to SEE the truck backing up towards them and move. And where the hell are their parents anyway?

Ha speaking of kids...I was walking in to a store yesterday, okay the liquor store, why must you always judge me? Anyway, this dude and his son were coming from the other direction and we all made it to the door at the same time. The kid walked in, then the dad and I looked at eachother and he said "After you." like the sweet gentlemanly type men that live in this area of the country always do (do they do it where you live? - It's AWESOME huh?) Anyway, I say "thank you", smile and walk in. The kid who was ahead of me hangs back at this point to wait for his dad, and as I walk away in a voice that was soft enough that he wasn't trying to let me hear the dad says to his son "Where was the little gentleman?"  Isn't that precious? They are raising a whole new generation of these dudes.

Moral: Life isn't all bad, except for the loud noises..

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Something is wrong with my gum, where I had my tooth extracted, but two days ago when I went for my post-op check-up it was fine. Damn.

I talked to a couple of OLD friends tonight. We are going to get together. Yay.

Sometimes you don't answer the phone, that makes me sad. I hope when you need to talk somebody answers. Actually, my hurt makes me want you to feel the same thing I do, so I hope nobody is there to talk to you when you are lonely or scared, then you will know what it feels like.

Sad that I think that.