Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I didn't write this list and I don't work at Swiss Chalet but it made me laugh.

It's from the Facebook group "I work at Swiss Chalet and therefore I hate my life".

Ha ha. Just stumbled across it.


1. Do not ask me for a spoon for the chicken sauce, you are making me sick.
2. Just because i have a name tag on doesn't mean you get to use my name. Ever.
3. I don't know why the white meat is more expensive. It just is. Get over it. It's like 50 cents.
4. No...it's not lemon soup. It's a finger bowl, you wash your cheap hands with it. And stop joking with me about it being lemon soup. I've heard that line nine times today. Shut the fuck up.
5. If you're not planning on tipping properly, take your ass over to the take-out window. They're even more unhappy than us, and will be waiting there to serve you with a frown, and probably some cold fries.
6. Your meat IS going to be a bit pink, you DID ask for the dark meat. Suck it up
7. Do not ask for skinless quarter chicken...do it yourself. Kindergarten is over.
8. Do not expect a finger bowl if you order a pot pie and salad. USE A FORK!
9. NO you cannot have a soup as your side. Pick something else!
10. Do not expect anymore service after you pay your bill. Vacate your table in a timely manner so I may fill it with another group of clueless morons in an attempt to actually make money.
11. When you come to the take-out window, know what you want. There is always a line, and I do not enjoy when you're holding it up.
12. When ordering at take-out, there is no need to tell me your order is "to go". Especially when you say it six times. I think I got the hint when you ordered it at the take-out window.
13. If you want to get my attention do not SNAP YOUR FINGERS AT ME LIKE I'M A DOG! Just because I work at a restaurant that doesn't mean I'm your slave.
14. When every booth/table in the restaurant is full don't bitch about where I seat you. Sit your ass down or go to another restaurant and wait an hour to get sat there.
15. When a hostess brings you to a table in the back of the restaurant do not make a smart ass comment such as "If you would have taken me any farther I would be sitting in the parking lot" and then laugh. It's not witty, it's just annoying and you are not the first one to say it.
16. Do not tell the hostess that you don't want to sit around people/children. ESPECIALLY ON WEDNESDAYS WHEN KIDS EAT FREE! Children have to eat too. If you don't want to be around people then STAY HOME DAMMIT!
17. When I ask you if you would like a booth or a table that is a hint that you are too LARGE to fit in a booth. Take the hint, and save us your bitching and the pains of reseating you five minutes later! No one wants to see you try to wedge yourself into the booth so that you need the JAWS OF LIFE to get out!! And yes, all the booths really are the same size.
18. Stop leaving your coupons on the end of the table like we're going to forget about them. It's not really that important.
19. Dont ask for hot water and 5 lemons, order a fucking tea. It's not that expensive yet. Or better yet, get a pop, so I don't have to take the time to prepare said tea.
20. Don't eat your entire meal and then bitch that it was shitty. You're not getting it for free if there's nothing left on the plate.
21. Don't fucking touch me. I'm not here for you to pet. Give me your order, and leave me alone.
22. If you see a hostess stand, that is a clue there may be a hostess working in this restaurant. DO NOT SEAT YOURSELF. Especially at a dirty table.
23. DO NOT, under any circumstances, bring your check up to the bar to pay, at least in the Buffalo area stores. We haven't had a cash register there since Labor Day of 2005. If it says "please pay server" on the receipt, it might be a good idea to do just that. If you approach my bar, I will only scowl at you and remind you it has now been fifteen months since the register existed.
24. Don't tell me how unpleasant your last visit was. Or your last three visits. I don't care, I don't want to hear it, and I'm not going to do anything about it. Maybe you should just stop coming. That would work out better for both of us.
25. Learn simple math. Please. It is not my job as a server to teach you the difference between a half and a quarter. If you don't know which one is bigger or what they are, you may want to reconsider going back to Kindergarten, or asking the six year old at the table next to you.