Today when I was at the grocery store, in the self check out part, because it is way more fun, I saw this couple with a watermelon and they were saying to the kid that monitors like eight of the self scanners:

"Can you take this off our bill, we don't want it, it's ELEVEN dollars"

NOT

"There must be something wrong here this watermelon scanned as eleven dollars"

They actually thought a watermelon the size of a canteloupe was ELEVEN dollars.

I don't know maybe it's just me.

Well, well, two days on the dating website and I run into someone I know.

Hey!!!

How are you? I haven't seen you in ages. I see you are still so beautiful!

How is your search going? I haven't had any luck. A few people chatting on MSN, other than that it has been pretty crappy.

I can't believe you are still single... Or are you?

We should go out for a drink sometime... What do you think?


Ha ha, he says "Or are you?"

Other than that, how very sweet.

I don't know if I am going to meet Mr. Right on this thing, but some of the guys are just too ridiculous not to share with you. Let me know if any of these lines are working for you and I will hook you up.

"I have my deploma in journalism. I describe everything as we talk to long to type inthis box"
Ewe hav a deploma in journalism? Me to.


"eye-luv-2-kiss-do-u.?"
Pfffffft.


"new on this site just checkin out..attracted to witty intteligent women with a zest for life..energetic hard working with a greek backround guy..lol"

LOL huh? I fail to see the humour except for the fact that you spelled intelligent wrong.

"The dancing green guy is Mr Hanke!!"

No idea what this means. Anyone?

I have a few tips for you guys out there looking for a girl online.

Put a shirt on.
Don't refer to yourself as "Hollywood" or "Stallion"
Post a picture of yourself where you don't look like a serial killer (if one has ever been taken).
Put a shirt on.

You can click this.

Yes, I figured out how to make a button for my photoblog.
Figured out = Copied Leesa's button and changed the link and the picture.

Now I just have to "figure out" how to move my blog main page and sidebar over two inches because they look like they are being sucked off of my screen.

My newest nickname for my dog is Doogie Rough Howser. He's like a linebacker the way he charges at me sometimes. Linebackers charge right?

Other than that, I signed up for a dating site, it was free and my friend forced me to (kinda), but it seems very scary to me. I don't like the whole strange men wanting to meet thing. Maybe we can just always be email pals. Speaking of strange men, I'm gonna call you soon Jeff.

Why can't I cut and paste into blogger anymore??????

My washing machine's spin cycle is broken now so I guess I am going to have to wear dirty clothes or hold the sopping wet ones in my hands and spin around really fast. FAHK.

If you take a picture of someone unknowingly, can you use it as art? Can you sell it? The paparazzi do it so I guess I answered my own question. Or maybe not. Do you own your own image? Anybody?

This is a post from last night...and I took out the barfing part because obviously it wasn't clear.

I am tired because some nimwit thought that Monday morning at 5:45 a.m. was a GREAT time to start up HIS really loud machine. I know it was a him, I just know it. If I had a gun in my house, you know for protection from burglars and stuff, there is no telling what I would have done.

5:45

A.M.

Poor Pluto.

OMG. I thought my blog birthday was August 24th but I just checked and it was really August 18th. So I am now two years and 4 days old.

So in honour of my belated 2nd blogaversary here are a few of my favourites (you have to scroll up a bit on each one because it goes right to the comments - I wouldn't say I have learned much technically in the past two years):

My attempt at writing poetry like Rosie O'Donnell

I was getting half naked before I knew about HNT

My D.N.A. revealed (top secret)

Stupid things I say

Half Naked (nekkid)

Half Naked (nekkid)

Sweet letter

Half Naked (nekkid)

Me from A-Zed

The Paparazzi

My rules for 2006

Half Naked (nekkid)

A quiz about me

The gay debate


I love blogging more than anything. Well, more than most things.

Two years ago I would have never suspected that I would meet so many cool people, learn so much, and have a fucking awesome time doing it.

Peace bloggy peeps. Peace.

Hi again Robin,

We are using your images for Fall Sideroads 2006 and I'm in the process of sorting and editing to decide which ones I'll publish. In the meantime, do you have a photo of yourself that we can use? I'd like you to send in a bit of a bio to say who you are, your photographic background and perhaps (after I select the images) a bit of technical info.

Yay!

You are Wonder Woman

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

I know you want to know who you are, don't deny it

Na na na na na na na Wonder Womaaaan!

Steve has gone mad.

Seems my little subtitle "Being P.C. is for pussies" has upset some people.

Let me explain the way I see things.

Hatred is not the opposite of "politically correct".

There are people that are quite nasty and hateful that are very proficient at being politically correct.

Then there are the mindless sheep that just follow the rules and say "Uh okay I will say or not say what I am told to".

I am in another category.

I question what I am told to say and why I am told to say it.

If all women were politically correct in the past we wouldn't be where we are today.

So fuck your political correctness. I will say what I believe.

Charlie got neutered today...

Why Male Dogs Are Neutered - Intact male dogs (those not neutered) are prone to a number of annoying behaviors that are directly related to testosterone production. Behaviors such as urine marking; mounting other dogs, objects, and people; roaming in search of females; and aggression toward other male dogs are all caused by testosterone. Having the dog neutered, thus eliminating testosterone production, greatly reduces these behaviors, as well as decreases the animal's level of stress.

Maybe we should start neutering male humans, like say for example George Bush.

Are you a garage person or a backyard person?

Why?

My answer:

I am a backyard person because I have no idea why anyone would rather hang out in their garage, except maybe if there is a fridge in there, with Stellas in it.

You Are Number 4 - The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy, dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What Number Are You?

Capricorn Horoscope for week of August 10, 2006

Recently my nine-year-old bike has developed an unfortunate glitch. When I ride up hills, and only when I ride up hills, the chain periodically gets lodged in the transmission mechanism. If I act quickly, taking action the instant I hear the incipient grinding noise, there's something I can do to fix the problem and keep from lurching to a halt: I have to temporarily pedal backwards; doing that frees the chain from its stuck place. So picture this scene: As I ascend, I'm able to push forward for long stretches, but now and then have to pedal in reverse, slipping backward a few feet. From what I can tell, Capricorn, this is similar to the rhythm your life has right now. It's OK to bitch about it, as I do during my travail, but you should also feel grateful for the way it's building your strength and character.

P.S. I predict you will reach the top by September.

Well thank fuck for that.

Want yours?

I have nothing to say just wanted to move along.

Let's see, it's Saturday and my dog ate through one of the straps of my bra that I so sillily left on the couch in my room so now I am going to go and buy a new one, not that I don't have other bras but this one was my favourite.

Also I am going to clean my kitchen.

Isn't your brain so much more enriched for knowing this?

Nome said...
What's up with using gay as a synonym for lame? That's too sad for words.
2:04 AM

Nome said...
Am I the only one who notices these 'gay' references with substantial distress?
2:06 AM

Binsk said...
Whatever...I like to say gay and it has nothing to do with a hatred towards homosexuals so chill out. Actually it has nothing to do with homosexuals at all. I suppose I can't use the word queer anymore either?
10:37 AM

Binsk said...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay
11:00 AM

Binsk said...
I'm taking it back Nome.
11:00 AM

Binsk said...
Check out the part on COMMONLY ACCEPTED usage towards the bottom of the Wikipedia page.

People that say hubby, as in "hubby and I like this" or "hubby and I went out to a movie" make me want to rip out their hair and shove it in their gay ass mouths.

Okay, I don't feel that violent about it, I was being dramatic for comedy's sake, but really who says that that isn't some annoyingly high voiced, prissy, animal sweater wearing, mope?

Or maybe it's just that *somebody* needs a hubby.

Oh that's right, I zing myself before you can.

I did this a long time ago and I think I got the same results:

My Personal Dna Report

It's pretty interesting if you like gay internet quizzes.

My new nickname for my dog is puppamuppalous. Cute right? I think it's his new fave actually.
__________

Saw Clerks II last night and really liked it. I mean there were some weird parts, but overall it was enjoyable with burst out laughing parts sprinkled throughout. I'd tell you some of my favourite lines but I don't want to ruin it for anyone.
__________

Currently I am reading the book "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You To Know About" by that infomercial guy Kevin Trudeau. I don't think he's a quack at all, I think this book is FULL of really good advice.

I'm going to get rid of my microwave tomorrow and I am off the fast food and non-organic red meat period. No I am not overreacting, I've just been doing a lot of reading on natural health lately and I see the same things over and over.

Also I am going to try to be nicer. Really.
__________

I still have the live feeds for Big Brother Allstars. I'm just glad it will be over in a month because I am having problems tearing myself away.

Is it too much to ask for people to shut the fuck up until at least 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning?

I know it's a beautiful day but do we all have to start enjoying it as soon as you and your selfish face are up?

And to the crow who screeched like your head was on fire this morning at 6 a.m. I am getting a bb gun.

I'm going to the farmer's market now. I love farmer's markets.

Silence for more than 5 seconds means my dog is eating something he shouldn't. Today it was a cricket. Poor little Jiminey.

CHECK OUT THIS SITE.

The table of contents is in the left margin, and you gotta be in the mood to read, but I would say it's worth it.

Look at me! I'm a Cyberian!

"To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
~ Emerson

This is my new boyfriend.

Okay not really, it's Will from Big Brother, but I wish he was my new boyfriend.

Don't tell Mr. Depp.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or even a completely different life. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. Your feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Last night I had a dream that I woke up and my whole body was hurting. I went into the bathroom and got stuck in between the medicine cabinet and the back wall. Once I clawed my way out of the bathroom I went out to the garage and found my car half way in and half way out of the garage on an angle like it had been crashed in there. I opened the driver's side door and found ME slumped over like I had been in a bad accident. Then I realized I had a hangover so I thought I must have been drinking and driving. I was SO shocked because I would never do that. The fire department was outside running hoses all around the house. Then they arrested my brother for what I did so I ran away. I felt guilty about running away so I came back to find my brother had turned into my sister and she was in handcuffs.

I think I need a vacation.

Sometimes I think that I am the smartest person on earth and it pains me to talk to anybody else because they will never, ever, understand where I am coming from because I am much too intelligent for them to "get".

Oh I am not joking.

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

My mom told me that I am a direct descendant of this dude.

She says there is a book with the family tree that goes right down to her name...I hope they revise it soon and put me and my brother in it because then I could carry it around and impress people.

I did some reading on him and I liked what I read.

"Oliver Cromwell believed passionately in what he called 'liberty of conscience', that is freedom for a range of groups and faiths to practise their beliefs undisturbed and without disturbing others. Several times he referred to this religious liberty as the principal achievement of the wars, to be strengthened and cherished now that peace had returned."

If you have a band and you are on MySpace, I don't want to be your friend, unless I have met you or told you I like your band.

If you are a comedian and you are on MySpace, I don't want to be your friend, unless I have met you or told you I like your act.

If you are some dude from Nebraska and you are on MySpace and your catch phrase is "Da Bears", and all your "friends" are pleasantly plump girls wearing lingerie or eating cherries I don't want to be your friend. Period.

Have I mentioned that I still do not get MySpace? Do you?

And why the hell is it MySpace with no space???

Riddle me that Batman.

And what is this "Thanks for the add" thing?

Can one of you wizard banner maker type people please make me a "Stop asking me to be your friend I don't even know you." banner?

Aces.

Big Brother live feed update:

It takes Janelle AT LEAST an hour to do her make-up. I just could not concentrate on putting on make-up for that long.

But I could watch somebody do it on a webcam.

Yeah makes sense.

Howie is autistic or whatever brain malfunction it is that causes you to repeat the same thing over and over again.

"Chicken George you're okay"
"I know Howie"

Five minutes later

"Chicken George you're okay"
"Thanks Howie I know"

2 minutes later

"It's okay Chicken George"
"Thanks Jedi"

I have no idea how Chicken George doesn't start running around trying to find the exit to that nut house.

Best part is when the Big Brother god like voice booms through the whole house telling them to stop doing something.

I cancelled my subscription after the free trial period because if I didn't I would weigh 4 hundred pounds, be white as a ghost, and have no friends by the end of the summer.

I got the Big Brother live feed tonight. It's free for the first three days. I might not go to sleep. But I should because I am going on a picnic tomorrow with my mom and dad and their two dogs and my puppy. Should be awesome.

Dear Universe,

My horoscope told me on Monday that I could just tell you what I want and don't want and you would handle it.

That is way cool of you universe, thanks.

After careful consideration I have compiled the following list:

An honest, funny, hot, rich, ticklish, 35 year old man with a cottage.

A big hand to come out of the dashboard of cars and smack stupid fucks in the head when they drive like assholes.

Dave Matthews to stop writing really obvious lyrics like you crash into me and I come into you. GAWD. What are you 13 Dave?

The rule of thumb to be changed from eight glasses of water a day to beer. Actually if you could just make beer come right out of the tap that would be good. (Oh feck I sound like Homer Simpson)

The kid at the corner store to get off the hash and be able to make change in under 10 minutes.

A camera that makes all of the other cameras cry themselves to sleep at night because they will never be as awesome.

Johnny Depp.

Denis Leary.

Thanks in advance, regards and all the other gayisms that business people sign off with,

Binsk

My horoscope for today:

Be the author of your life. Decide what you want to happen -- and, more importantly, what you don't want to happen -- and then make it so. The universe will provide you all the help you need to make this happen -- truly.

Oh somebody sang a little Jewel sucky love song at karaoke I see. Thanks to my cousin for stealing my camera and capturing the magic that is me.

Have you seen the movie The Corporation? If you haven't you should go out right now and rent it. And if you have and you didn't like it don't tell me because we are in my lair and I will treat cruelly. (see satanism below)

I gave Charlie 30 minutes to pack up his things and move out. I told him he could have all of the plastic bags, and his toys, and the can of mackarel he hasn't eaten yet. He doesn't seem to be taking me seriously and he is losing valuable packing time. 29 minutes.

Rabbits

To see a rabbit in your dream, foretells of luck, magic and of a favorable turn of events and a positive outlook in your future endeavors.

To see a white rabbit in your dream, symbolizes faithfulness of a lover.

To see many rabbits hopping about the meadows, signifies fertility and that children will bring you much joy.


What if the rabbit bit me?